Monday, August 31, 2009

Repost: Not Looking for Love

Since I'm exhausted from my trip and because I'm reflecting over upcoming birthday, I decided to repost some posts from last year this time. Reading these posts has shown me how much I have changed in such a short amount of time.

Enjoy!

So I’d finally reached the part of dating that I think everyone goes through. I wasn’t dating anyone but I felt good about being single. I was comfortable in my own skin and with my solitude. I had it in my mind that I didn’t want to date anyone and I believed it when I said it to myself because it was true. For the first time in a long time I was happy being alone. I had my daily routine down pact: work, gym, sleep repeat. The system worked pretty well. I made sure to find time for my friends when necessary. I had no excuse not to make an appearance at the occasional birthday party or a girl’s night out so I made myself seen. When I wasn’t with the girls I was at the gym. If it was between the hours of 9 to 5 on a weekday, I was at work and I was happy with that.

I had so much time on my hands I picked up a second job. It didn’t require much training and not too much effort on my part to obtain it. And it’s something that I enjoy doing, so the extra income couldn’t come at a more perfect time. I want to start saving to move out of Cali. I have no idea where it is I want to go but I know if I want to get there I’m going to need a large chunk of money to get there, so now I save. Life couldn’t get any better.

Things with Texas were stagnate at the moment but since my trip had turned out uneventful, it didn’t I wasn’t really phased when we became distant. Our phone calls had become much less frequent and so did our texts. I wish him the best and if things find themselves working out in the future, then so be it. But I realized that now was not the time, so I let him go.

My birthday was coming up and I was excited about it. No, I didn’t have a man, but I had plenty of friends. I wanted to have an event where people closest to me could come and celebrate a day that I hold in high regards, my birthday. My first event was a get together at an upscale lounge. LA doesn’t have many places that are true lounges, but I found one of the only one’s that I knew were free and invited my friends for drinks and fun. I didn’t think about meeting anyone that night, I just wanted to have a good time. Usually I have a goal of obtaining one number before the nights end, but this time I wasn’t even thinking about guys. I put on my brand new outfit and went to my party to chill with my friends. That night, I ended up leaving meeting 2 new guys.

Arizona was thrown my way by a friend. She asked him if he wanted to by me a drink because it was my birthday and after he looked me up and down he happily agreed. The chemistry was there, I was feeling his stature and his conversation was cool. Arizona owned his own business and he let me know that if I were his girl he would have flown me somewhere for my birthday. Game does recognize game, but I was still flattered. He said he would be my boyfriend for the rest of the night and look out for me and I though that was cute. Arizona bought me a drink and then I was pushed to the side as 3 of my friends came over to question his intentions. I love my girls. I could tell they wanted to make sure I wasn’t wasting my time.

“What do you do for a living?” “Do you have any kids?” “Do you have a girlfriend?”

They dug into him with claws erect. But he was ready. He answered they’re questions smoothly and without hesitation and I liked that. By the end of the night we exchanged numbers and have been in touch ever since.

The second guy, Michigan approached me very guardedly but I thought it was cute. Michigan was there to celebrate his birthday as well. He was shy around me, and I was happy to be in control of this exchange. I flirted with him all night and after I was sure Arizona was out of sight, I made my way over to Michigan. I put on the charms. It felt good to be in control. I knew I was attracted to him and that he was to me. Michigan had this debonair style that caught my eye immediately. After a while, he finally got wind of my advances and asked for my number.

I had several birthday celebrations and my night out at the lounge was just the first. The following day, I had a birthday dinner with just a few friends. It was a much smaller scale then the previous night extravaganza and I decided to invite Detroit. It was 40 minutes before it was going to begin and I decided to put our differences aside because I wanted him there. I hadn’t had male attention since my trip to see Texas so I did have underlying motives. But I didn’t follow through with them. Above all, Detroit was a good friend and I didn’t want to miss out on having him around and sharing my birthday with me. Detroit took my invitation very personally. Detroit took me for drinks after the dinner was over and explained to me what was on his mind. He felt that there must be something between us if I invited him to my birthday dinner. I wasn’t exactly sure he was right so I agreed to meet him later in the week for another “birthday” dinner.

When I got home from drinks with Detroit, I looked at my phone and I had a birthday message from a guy I hadn’t spoken to in months. Red and I were cool but we hadn’t talked much recently. Red and I never dated. I didn’t see him as anything more than a friend and I definitely appreciated that he had remembered my birthday. We’ve started to talk more and we even went on what I would classify as a date yesterday. So we shall see what happens there. More than anything I’d like to keep Red as a friend, I’m not sure if there is anything more between us but I am willing to find out

The next morning I realized Texas hadn’t called me on my birthday and I knew then that we would no longer be dating. My birthday is very important to me and it’s hard to come back from that. He hasn’t made much effort to rectify that situation and to me that just show his interest is no longer present. And that’s fine.

Just last week I was at work, minding my own business when I looked up and saw this guy staring at me. I was walking his way and I said hello. He apologized for staring and told me he couldn’t keep his eyes off of my walk. Mr. Mid-West was a little older but I didn’t let that rule him out. He approached me like a gentlemen so I decided to give him a chance. I let him know that I had to get back to work and gave him my number. This man is old enough to know what he wants and he has his mind set on exactly what that is. When we met up after I got off work, he let me know exactly what he was and wasn’t looking for. I’m not sure we’re on the same page, but again, I am willing to find out.

It’s amazing how my lack of interest and but possession of sheer confidence really attracted men my way these last two weeks. It isn’t something that I made a conscious decision to do but man it is working and I am contentiously amused by the attention. They say you’ll find a guy when you’re not looking but who would’ve though I’d end up with 5! Arizona, Michigan, Detroit, Red and Mr. Mid-West. Stay tuned this should be interesting and short lived for some of them.

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