Friday, March 27, 2015

I Had A Dream Last Night

I Had A Dream Last Night

And you were in it
I don't usually remember my dreams
They happen
I wake up
It's over

But this dream I remember...vividly

And you were in it
Looking how I last saw
Feeling how I last felt
It was so real
I woke up
It's over

I Had A Dream Last Night

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

I Won't Be Wearing an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

If there were ever a more well timed trip, it would be my impending get away.
My passport is ready.
My skin is ready to bask in the sun.
My hand is ready to grip my non-virgin pina colada.
My mind is ready to be occupied by things I can control; my liquor intake, amount of dancing and morning beach runs.
And not the things I cannot.

And although my bikini(s) is not yellow nor does it have polka dots, it is ready for the sun, fun and sand.

When Is The Right Time?

Sometimes we get so complacent in our the lives that we don't allow ourselves to explore our greatest potential. As stale as it may feel, we stick with what we know because well, its comfortable, convenient and easy. We stand in the way of greatness by settling for mediocrity. I'm not usually afraid of taking a leap of faith so I've been toying with the idea of searching for a new job.

I make a pretty comfortable living in my current position, most of my students help me love what I do and well I'm good at it. I'm having an amazing start to my fall admissions. My percent of change over last year is constantly being lauded by my supervisor and coworkers. My supervisor is so damn happy with my performance, which in turn makes me very happy. At my current position, I've gotten excellent reviews, I know the ins and outs of the population I'm working with, I know how to manage my supervisor and her personality, and I've mastered how to direct the business. So why leave at this moment?

Deep down I know at some point I'll have to move on. I just don't see a long term future where I am. For one, there's no opportunity for growth here. While my supervisor can offer me an endless supply of verbal praise, she is currently unable to offer me what I deserve; financial gains the work I produce merits. If I did what most people do, I'd stay in my current position for at least 2 years. I've surveyed a few friends, because that's what people do when they make big life decisions, and I've gotten mixed advice. Some applaud me for keeping my options open and agree that the time is now, while others encouraged me to wait until the society agreed upon 2-year mark before making the move.

I am a person who believes in fate. My coworker mentioned that his old colleague (who was previously in my position) was leaving another college at NYU.  The position was a full band above my and two levels above my current one but if I applied, I'd probably at least have gotten an interview. It was scary to even think about leaving a place I'd gotten so relaxed in and moving on to a place I didn't already know how to navigate. If this had been my two year mark, I'd have applied right away.I read the job description for hours trying to talk myself out of applying. Telling myself it just wasn't the right time. By the time I decided to throw caution to the wind and apply, the position had been filled.

This would have been an amazing opportunity for my career. I can't believe I talked myself out of applying for it. What if I didn't get called for an interview?  What if I did get called in and they didn't pick me? What if I got the position and wasn't happy?

But, what if I did get called for an interview? What if I did get called in and they picked me? What if I got the position and was happy and fully satisfied? I'll never know because I let my ego stand in my way. I didn't want to be bruised by no so I did nothing. I didn't even submit my damn good resume.

Sometimes the right time isn't the most comfortable, convenient or easy. Sometimes the right time is now.
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