Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dating Report Card: Personality Goggles

Most people in a dimly lit, loud, over packed environment also known as a bar/club get "beer goggles" after a few alcoholic beverages. Since I hardly ever drink, I get what I have affectionately dubbed personality googles. This means that my ability to judge someone's intentions and compatibility are shot to hell due to combination of those distorting factors.

Without getting into too much detail and telling on myself, I'll give you the short hand version of how I met this gentlemen. While making my way outside for a break, it was too damn hot in there, a guy stopped me and asked for my name. I whispered "Silent" in his ear and kept walking. He grabbed my arm and asked to speak with me. I looked him over. Short but cute, I was bored so, "come with me," came out of my mouth.

What did we talk about outside you may ask? Obviously I have no clue based on what happened a few days later. Fast-forward to yesterday and our "date."

Punctuality: n/a

I was late because after a brief phone conversation with him I suspected that my judging capabilities were off that night. But I was a woman of my word so I went out with him anyway.

Creativity: F

He was very adamant about me meeting him at this one particular restaurant his "homie" worked at. I didn't want to keep arguing so I agreed to make my way there. As I arrived I saw him sitting with another gentleman. His "brother." (I start to remember from the night before that he called two other men who looked nothing like him, his "brother." ) Surprise. Surprise. This is a group date. No one told me, I would have prepared, meaning not showed up.

Chemistry: F

Apparently I speak too proper for his tastes. He asked me where my mother was from and I told him the Compton/Watts area. Considering she is from both I didn't stutter in my explanation. He mocked me for including area in the sentence. Seriously, you're mocking me for being too proper. I was waiting for him to tell me I spoke like a white girl. I'm a no holds barred girl, so I would have followed up with you speak like an ignorant thug told him that we had nothing in common and walked out if he had. I wish he had.

Allow me to go off-script from the usual dating report card because I really want you to get the 3D effect of this outing. He did excel at some things so I don't want you to think I'm a complete bitch. I'm considerate sometimes.

Drunkness: A+

There was a lot of joking and surface scratching going on at the table. Too bad (read thank goodness) it was between myself and his homeboy. My date was too wasted to even put two coherent sentences together. He occasionally had an outburst but his friend and I would mock him and continue our conversation.

Annoyance: A+

If I had to give a grade for how annoying he was, this is the only level he would excel at. Within 2 minutes of me sitting down, he asked me to buy him a drink. I thought he was joking until he asked me 4 more times within out 90 minute date.

Cheapness: A+

He and his friend argued with both our waiter and the manager about which drinks were included in happy hour. I was so tempted to pull out my credit card, pay the $35 tab and exit stage left. At this point I again found myself waiting for Hell Date camera's to come out, again, and tell me I had just been played. It never happened.

Overall: Epic Fail

He not only got an F but so did I. I should have taken more time to speak with him prior to meeting up. Those personality goggles messed me up but it was my responsibility to have a proper interrogation conversation before wasting my gas. At least I had something to blog about this morning. Silver lining?


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Black [Female] Marriage Negotiations

While consuming my weekly dose of Belle, I stumbled upon this highly amusing video from AlumniRoundUp.com.

I know this is how many of my readers (who don't pay attention nor know me very well) view my blogging. I almost cried at the end, its so damn funny.

A few quotables:
"Sisters, are you tired of being alone."

"Where are all the good black men, I can't find one."

"Black men can't handle a strong black woman, you're too sensitive."

If someone can help me find the female version of this video (What black women think about how black men think), I would be greatly indebted.

Happy Friday Yall!
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