Thursday, February 26, 2009

All the Mister's in between

When I begin dating a guy, everything is new and of course I am eager to find out as much as I can about him. After some time has passed, and I have learned more about him he moves out of the “Mr. I wonder where this will go” category and into one of the following. Normally, it only takes me a month or so for me to figure out which category.

Note: None of the categories are so rigid that a man can’t be moved at anytime from one to another or fit into more than one.

Mr. Take me out – This guy is not looking for anything serious but you do like going out with him. You never have to worry about picking up the check or him getting too physical. He knows his job and he does it well. Mr. I.E. has been slacking on this job. I haven’t seen him all year but we did address his issues recently. Realistically, I’m not sure he can or wants to do anything to move out of this category.

Mr. Let’s Talk – Since my time is limited, I hardly have time to talk on the phone for hours on end. (I know I need to work on even talking to my friends on the phone as well) For me, it makes more sense to see someone in person, rather than talk to them on the phone for extended periods of time. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out perfectly, schedules conflict and the only time two people can find time for each other is on the phone. Or in my case with Chicago, there are a couple thousand miles in between us so we talk on the phone like teenagers and that’s all we have so far.

Mr. Maintenance Man – This one is self explanatory. I don’t currently have anyone in this category, although Mr. AOS is pushing for this spot. I know I don’t want that though, I want more.

Mr. Comfort Zone – This guy has been around for a while. You know him and he knows you very well. When your day is going bad, you can call him and he will make you feel better. No matter how many times you flake, cancel, or reschedule with him, he still stays around. You feel great when you are around him and kind of miss him when he is gone. I’m not exactly sure what future if any I have with Detroit, but he definitely fits this category. If Mr. Maintenance Man is busy, you may call Mr. Comfort Zone.

Mr. Right Now - He is not exactly what you are looking for. But he is great enough to hold the top position until someone who better fits your personality comes along. You spend most of your time with him, even though your gut is telling you, the relationship will never move forward. Even if you gave him the title, the relationship could last at best, 2 years. I try not to give guys false hope, so I consciously stay away from this category. I'd rather be alone than to purposely hurt someone else or myself in the future.

Mr. Right – This guy is not exactly perfect, but he is perfect for you. When you’re with him, you don’t want to be with anyone else. When he is away, you miss him like crazy. All those other guys seem rather mediocre in comparison to Mr. Right. In the beginning of dating he may or may not have ever been in one of those other categories. Now obviously, no one is currently in this category for me. We shall see, I’m still optimistic about finding Mr. Right, but I am having some fun in the meantime, most of the time.

At some point, your guy may have started in one category and moved onto another. Do you have any other dating categories you can think of?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Letter to my Freakum Dress

Dear Freakum Dress,

It’s about that time in my life. When I hang you up and trade you in for some slacks and a cute top or some other more appropriate dress. I can no longer parade around the club in next to nothing. I’ve gotten to the age where I look back at pictures and wonder what I was thinking. How is it that I let myself walk out the house looking like that? I usually reserve such decisions for when I’m seriously dating someone, but since that has yet to occur, this decision is based on age and maturity.

Although I feel I can make almost any outfit look classy and our nightclub battles are the minority I still I think it is time for you to retire. How can I react in outrage, when some man occasionally makes inappropriate passes at me when we are together? Don’t think for a second that this means the blame is all on you. I chose to put you on those nights. Though your existence in my closet is far and in between, this relationship just isn’t going to work. We did have our fun this weekend in Vegas, and I will never forget our other memories, but this is where our journey ends.

I am sure that you will get plenty of use from my young sister so don’t worry you will not go to waste. Nor will you sit in my closet and collect dust. Remember, we will always have the digital pictures.



P.S If I ever need a boost in my ego, I know exactly where to find you.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Half Empty or Full?

I enjoyed my Valentine’s Day. It was filled with sports, sports and more sports. Mr. AOS and I spent the day watching the NBA all-star skills game, shoot off and all the other festivities. It was nothing romantic or even thoughtful. But I had fun spending time with him and I love me some Dwight Howard so that was the icing.

When I would tell my friends about my day they weren’t as enthusiastic as I was. I knew Mr. AOS wouldn’t do anything special for the day nor did I want him to. I’ve never really celebrated V-Day and we aren’t at a place to do so anyway. If there were any kind of hoopla or romantic gesture, I would have felt more uncomfortable than anything else. So, I was happy to chill and watch sports.

Since then, we haven’t seen each other and that’s more his fault than mine. When we talked, he gave the same song and dance I’m used to hearing from guys and him in particular. This was the same guy that would continuously disappear for days on in end only to reappear with some sad excuse about his schedule. 8 months later, and things with him haven’t change.

Luckily for me, I have. I don’t sit by the phone and wait for his call. I haven’t cut out every other gentleman for the slim chance that he will come to his senses and see how great I am. If I call and he doesn’t return my calls for days, it’s ok. He may not be that interested in dating me, and I’m not that interested in playing his game.

I know what I want and I won’t settle for less.

The funny thing is that one of my friends is having the exact opposite dating issue. Mr. AOS calls when he wants to see me but not to talk and see how I am doing; which I feel is also important. Her guy on the other hand doesn’t call to see her because she is the mistress to his career. This man is a workaholic but he makes sure to contact her in some way, multiple times a day, everyday. Now I’m not saying I want or even need the same kind of attention, but I do like to know a guy is interested.

So I wonder, is my glass half empty or full?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Unchartered Territory: Flashing Lights

As soon as the movie ended, I hoped out of my seat and headed towards the parking lot. It was almost 12:15, and we were late. On the way to the club, Mr. AOS and I discussed the movie and why it was over rated. I insisted that if he had seen it before it was nominated for an Oscar (among other awards), he would have thought it was a great film too, but that all the hype overshadowed the actual film so of course it couldn’t live up to the hype.

Initially, I planned on surprising Izzie with Mr. AOS, but her stubborn ways didn’t allow that to happen. So she knew ahead of time to be expecting us.

I never bring sand to the beach, but this beach was bare in comparison to Mr. AOS. (Who is this person and what have they done with Si Si you may ask, trust that I am asking myself the same question as I type) The lounge was packed with Friday night partiers. I thought the rain might have made the venue a little less appealing to party goers that night but this was not the case. There were plenty of eyes on us as we made our way in. Once we hit the corner towards the entrance, I pranced into the club as I normally do, but this time I stopped occasionally to make sure Mr. AOS was close behind. I wanted all the gentlemen to know I was taken.

I was nervous.

What if Izzie didn’t like Mr. AOS? What would I do or say in the future when talking about him? Why was I thinking about a future?

I was confused to say the least. I didn’t know how to act. There were a million scenarios running through my head. I was bringing a guy I really liked; yes I really do like him, to meet my best friend.

I searched the room for her long curly brown locks; it was the main feature that made her stand out among such a large crown. I saw a girl in a blue tube top dress, wearing no shoes, with her arms flaring. She looked rather tipsy as she stumbled to keep on beat with the music. This was my girl, eyes glazed, hair still in tact and shoes stored.

Izzie, I yelled as I ran up to her and gave her a hug. She scolded me for being so late. I could hardly decipher her slurring words but I knew she was looking for me. I tried to explain that we got lost and before I could introduce him, she made her way over.

“[Mr. AOS] this is Izzie, my best friend.”

From then on, you could catch her repeating one of these phrases.

“I’m her best best friend.”

“She really likes you.”

“Aww, ya’ll are so cute together.”

“I like him,” she failed to whisper in my ear repeatedly.

The words flowed threw her mouth. My happy smile gradually turned into awkward embarrassment.

Technically it was truth, but in all my excitement of bringing him I never put two and two together. It was Izzies birthday, she was going to be drunk and drunken people tell the truth.

Midway through the night, Izzie got Mr. AOS to but her a drink. As they left our area, I didn’t know whether or not I should follow or stay behind. It wasn’t like I could stop what was about to be said between Mr. AOS and Izzie. Plus she had already said so much anyway. Part of me was happy she was able to vocalize how I feel about him, to him. It dawned on me that I had never personally verbalized my feelings to him. My embarrassment disappeared, for the most part, I was thankful for my drunken friend and her uninhibited honesty.

I decided to stay and dance with the rest of the birthday party. There were about 9 other people, some of who I knew. I greeted to all of them and sat and talked with the girl I knew the best.

When they came back, large glass of alcohol in hand, Izzie and I decided to take pictures. Mr. AOS quickly stepped to the side as Izzie and I did our best poses for the camera.

“1, 2, 3, cheese!”

Cameras were flashing. This was something we loved to do and we did it well.

Take one more sitting down. Wait lets do this. Wait one more picture like that.

We posed for several more frames. Then all the girls of the party joined together for more group pictures.

Izzie and I took another picture together and she decided she wanted to add Mr. AOS to her scrapbook. She pulled him in next to her and said, now say cheese. I looked at the discomfiture on his face. This was not his thing, but he was a good sport. He struck one pose and the cameras flashed.

We all separated.

“I’m embarrassed,” he said. “All the lights are blinding me.”

“You’re embarrassed,” I was not completely shocked but I tried to make him feel better, “don’t be.” I tried to assure him that he was fine and doing fine. Izzie had already mentioned that she liked us together.

Izzie then placed us next to each other for another photo up.


I looked to see how he was taking all of this attention. Mr. AOS is a guy who likes to stay under the radar and I’m sure he was not at ease with all of this attention. Again, uneasiness had overcome his face.

He grabbed my waist and smiled for the picture.

After our “photo session”, I was afraid that Mr. AOS would be uncomfortable the rest of the night. Instead, he went back to his humorous wit. He joked about the number of pictures Izzie and I took. My mind was able to stop moving full speed ahead and I relaxed. I enjoyed the time we had. Mr. AOS even danced with me the rest of the night. (Something I was not expecting at all.) I had seen him dance before so I knew he knew how to move, but never in public. He looked like he was having fun and so was I.

Occasionally we would find ourselves talking to one another closely, hands caressing each others backs, and staring into each others eyes. This was new to me and surprisingly I didn’t mind it. It was not as awful as I had imagined. This was something I could get used to.

After the evening was over, Mr. AOS thanked me for getting him out of the house. I wasn’t exactly sure how he was feeling about the nights events prior to that statement. It was good to know he enjoyed himself as much as I did.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Unchartered Territory: Meet my best-friend

Within the past week, Mr. AOS and I had picked up where we left off. When we hung out, it didn’t seem like 8 months had passed since we had been around each other. I really enjoy spending time with him. He knows how to make me laugh and keeps me on my toes. He makes me feel 16 all over again, but this time, it’s not just a fleeting feeling. We have history.

The week prior, my best friend Izzie had tentatively scheduled her birthday celebration for that Friday. This was her big 25; important to say the least. There was no way I was going to miss the celebration. We had been through so much together, and this was yet another milestone.

It didn’t dawn on me when Mr. AOS asked me to join him at the movies that Friday, that it was the same day. He hadn’t seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, and I didn’t mind seeing it twice. I was so happy to be seeing him again that I didn’t think of saying anything but yes to his invitation.

When Izzie mentioned her birthday plans again later in the week, I realized what I had done, but didn’t know what was I going to do to correct my mistake? Izzie would kill me if I missed her birthday party, but I didn’t want to cancel with Mr. AOS because I really did want to see him.

What do I do? I frantically checked the movie times at the local valley theather. There were two showtimes after the regular 9-5 work hours.

Slumdog Millionaire 7:10pm and 10:00pm

There was no way we were going to make it to the 7:10 with rush hour LA traffic. If we went to the 10:00 show, I would never make it to downtown. By the time we saw the movie, it would have been too late to leave Simi Valley (yes he lives 30 minutes away without traffic), leave him at his house and head to Downtown LA alone in Friday night traffic.

How was I going to fit both events into one night?

The obvious solution was not that obvious to me right away.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t introduce guys I’m dating to my friends. The only guy since my ex to meet my friends was Detroit. The only reason I felt comfortable of enough introducing him to anyone was, a) I had known him for about 2 years by that point, and b) we were no longer dating. It’s weird, I know. My friends are like my family, so I hold their opinions very highly.

I spent the next couple of days trying to think of what to do. I wanted to do both.

Solution: Bring Mr. AOS to Izzie’s birthday party. If we left the valley early enough, we could watch the movie, which was playing at a downtown LA theater at 10:10pm, and drive 5 minutes to the lounge.


I asked Mr. AOS if he wouldn’t mind going to my friends’ party after the movie. I knew he didn’t really like being in the club/lounge scene so I had an entire explanation laid out. I was ready to argue that this was my best-friend and that it was important for me to be there for her. Luckily, it wasn’t necessary. Mr. AOS readily and speedily obliged.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Red Carnation

Considering how late I got in last night, I was quite chipper this morning. I took my time getting dressed, making sure that my clothes fit properly, my hair was done and I looked refreshed. I took an extra 5 minutes to warm up my car, which doesn’t happen very often and headed to work.

My mornings are usually filled with bouts of road rage. I swear sometimes that it is some people’s goal in life to piss me off when driving. This morning was different. I turned the volume of my Jamie Foxx CD (bathtub music-check) and made my way to my office. I’ve listened to this CD several times so I am jamming as I drive. She got her own is my ish! I pull into the parking structure and am surprised to see several parking spots. Usually, if I arrive to the office any later than 8:45, I am forced to park in the second structure. Not there is nothing wrong with this structure, but everyone who works in the buildings want first dibs on the first structure.

I pull in, turn my music down and head towards my spot. As I am driving I see a gentleman across the structure in the corner of my eye. This brotha was on point. Creased dark grey slacks, white button down and a blue tie adorned his caramel body. This brotha took his time staying groomed, his low fade and Gotee were clean. I noticed all of this from over several feet away. Damn I thought to myself. Why was moving so fast? As I drove towards my spot he stopped for a second. Did he see me I thought? Maybe he did and he wants to wait for me. He heads back to his car; I guess he must have forgotten something.

I hop out of my car and head towards the main building. I notice that he is headed back towards the building as well. I guess whatever it is he left, he has retrieved it. As he gets closer, I notice that he is on the phone. How can I start a conversation with a man on the phone? Oh well I thought.

As I am walking up the ramp, we lock eyes. I smile and look away. After all, I am still very shy when it comes to attractive men. (Now men that I am not attracted to, have just the opposite affect on me)

I continue up the second curve of the ramp and our eyes connect again. Whoever he is talking to must not be that important because he keeps looking at me. I head across the street towards the building. He speeds up a little behind me as he ends his conversation on the phone.

At the entrance of my building stands an older gentleman in a Scrooge type black coat, a black suit and red bowtie. He stops me, “Excuse me miss,” and hands me a flower. “Happy Valentines Day,” he says.

“Thank you very much,” I reply.

When I arrive to the elevator doors an older Hispanic man holds the door and lets me in. The guy from the parking lot joins us.

“First floor right,” the Hispanic man says. “Yes,” I reply. (I have seen him around numerous times and we always share greetings)

“Fourth floor,” the guy from the parking lot says as he hurries in.

“I was hoping they would be giving out chocolate,” the guy from the parking lot says.

“Well since they didn’t give me any, you want to be my chocolate for Valentines Day,” I thought to myself.

“It’s okay I like flowers,” I reply as we lock eyes again.

We arrive at the first floor and as I exit I tell them to have a great day.

“You too,” they reply in unison.

As soon as the elevator doors close, I do what I normally do. I replay the events in my head. What if I had said something, would that be awkward. There was another man on the elevator so I was too embarrassed to flirt. Will I see him again?

I get to my desk and place the red carnation in a secure place. My coworkers, who did not arrive in time to see the building management giving out the flowers, make reference to my secret admirer.

“You must have a secret admirer,” one says.

“Ohhh that is a pretty flower, hmmmmm” another one says.

At first I quickly correct them. After the second comment, I get tired of explaining its presence. I decide that it is okay for them to think I have an admirer. Who knows, maybe I do. If luck should have it, I might bump into the guy from the elevator again. It's only a matter of time right, we work in the same building. Again, who knows.

Throughout this morning, I've glanced at my carnation and thought, that's such a pretty flower. I know one day I will have a [secret] admirer who sends flowers, but today, it's nice that everyone else thinks I do already.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just for kicks: 50 and loving it!

This is my 50th post, can you believe it. Wow how time flies. This weekend I took the time to read over my old posts, and I can't believe some of the things I was thinking, doing and saying. But I've enjoyed [almost] every minute of it and hope you have to.

For my 50th post (round of applause again please), I wanted to get a guys perspective. It didn’t have to necessarily be on just dating but life in general. While I was surveying friends and searching the internet, a friend sent me this list. (I will have a real post next week; I am backed up at work.)

Note: Read number 7 out loud. I thought it was hilarious. I agree with some, not all, of his statements. I admit that I am guilty of number 25 and don’t care.


25 Things I Wish OTHER People Would Start/Stop Doing by some guy on FB

1. I want people to STOP having kids they can't take care of. Seriously. I wish there was a licensing procedure that you had to undergo before you procreated. Though I know this runs into serious constitutional issues, in a perfect world, we'd start screening prospective parents.

2. I want people to START reading a newspaper daily. You're an adult, and there's no excuse for you not to do so. Do not expect anyone take you seriously if you do not take yourself seriously enough to keep yourself appraised of what goes on in the world.

3. I want vegetarians to STOP inviting me out for lunch or dinner. My diet will offend you. I eat meat in every meal. I cook my vegetables in meat. I'm not your guy.

4. I want grown men to STOP ordering vodka and cranberry cocktails. You're an adult. You have a job with benefits or you're obtaining a professional degree. Get down with the brown.

5. I want grown men to STOP walking small dogs. It's unbecoming. If it's smaller than a football, it's not a real dog. And if it's her dog, then make her walk the dog with you.

6. I want people to START supporting Paul Mooney. He's the funniest human being on earth.

7. I want women that are chronically single to STOP saying that they can't find good men. Take the "Black Man Sweepstakes" inventory if you're having issues. Are you cooking? Are you raising hell at home? Do you embarrass folks in public? Are you telling your friends all of your business? Are you reading recreationally? Is your life raggedy? Do you keep those roots in shape? Are YOU in shape? Get right. We're not getting any younger.

7a. If you met Tyree at the club, he only wants your cakes. Play it smart. Stay out of the club, go to a book club or a Barnes and Nobles and meet a nice man that reads. Reading is fundamental.

8. I want Ibert to START considering Christianity so that we can eat BBQ pork ribs. Bert, you don't know what you're missing and Jesus isn't half bad (just joking...but you're seriously missing out, buddy).

9. I want people to START ensuring that their subjects and verbs agree at ALL times. If you graduated from high school, there's no excuse.

10. I want to STOP being embarrassed anytime a college football player from the South is interviewed on television. Guys, we've got to do better.

11. I want people to STOP asking me to try Hummus. It looks like vomit. Just leave me alone.

11a. I want people to STOP asking me to try sushi. It tastes like bathwater.

12. I want men to STOP carrying "murses."

13. I want people to STOP saying, "Now that we have a black president, I can tell my kids that they can be anything they want to be." What in the hell were you saying before?! What if McCain would have won? Do better.

14. I want JellyBelly to START making those Black History Month jellybeans ASAP. I've already got a few flavors in mind: Menthol, Peach Cobbler, Jiffy Cornbread, Ranch dressing, Candied Yams, Cheese Grits, Sweet Potato Pie, etc.

15. I want New Yorkers to STOP acting like rats running all around your city is whatever. At what age do you conclude that rats are okay? That's my question.

16. I want people to STOP acting like the Cracker Barrel isn't the best restaurant in the world. If you're rolling your eyes, you've never had one of those biscuits.

17. I want people at the airport to STOP acting like they don't know the rules by now. You knew that bag was too big to bring onto the plane. You know you can't take that big bottle of lotion through security. You know you have to take your shoes off. Please brief grandpa, grandma or auntie before you get to the airport on what she needs to do. PLEASE!

18. I want the NAACP, BGLOs and other historically black institutions to START doing more to revitalize broken families and communities and STOP having so many galas, banquets, conferences and summits. And stop being so self-congratulatory when you actually do your job.

19. I want people to STOP calling other folks when they have nothing to say. And I want people to STOP having loud, meaningless conversations on their cell phones in public spaces.
20. I want Kanye to STOP singing.

21. I want people to STOP using Jesus as an excuse for their intolerance and/or ignorance.

22. I want churches to START ensuring folks get out of church on time. I'm done at 1PM. Maybe 1:30PM.

23. I want my English as a Second Language friends to STOP getting attitudes with me when I can't understand what they're saying. Slow down and speak clearly, and we'll both be okay.

24. I want people to STOP treating President Obama like he's one of the Beatles and hold him just as accountable as you would have done former President Bush.

25. I want people to STOP putting all of their personal business out on the Facebook. It's never a good look. Way too much information.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Coming to America Syndrome: Is it a fit?

The original coming to America, Mr. AOS, has been trying [successfully] to re-enter my life. Since the person partly responsible for our falling out has recently been exposed, I am not sure what I want to do about him. This fact, along with a close friend dealing with the same syndrome has me questioning our ‘ship’ and what direction it could go in.

Mr. AOS made it very clear that he wanted to move back to Nigeria after he finishes his masters. And at the rate he is going, he will be done at the end of this year. During our short time dating, I never asked where I fit into his plan. We weren’t serious enough at that point and I was merely enjoying his company. But that was then, and this is now, 8 months later. Mr. AOS and I are not on the path to anywhere just yet but I have never forgotten his plan. It is way too early for me to ask if his plans have changed, but if things pick up where they left off, when do I ask?

Currently, I don’t even want to consider moving to another country to live permanently. He did tell me right off the bat that he does. That all his life he has dreamed of coming to the states to further his career and then move back home, soon after.

One part of me says that this type of thinking is way too premature. That I should live for now and enjoy it while it lasts. The other side (my quiet biological clock) is telling me that I should walk away. I know the type of feelings I have for him and I can only see my feelings growing deeper. My mind is running like crazy right now. But all I want to do is tell it to shut up. If this person makes me happy, I can deal with his future plans later, right.

Maybe I will consider moving to another country one day, most likely I will not.

Maybe he will fall so deeply in love that we can work it out.

Since I do think it is too early to think about it, when is the right time to think about it?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Breaking all the Rules

Now I usually reserve my posts to writing about myself but I feel the need to venture out today. Especially since my dating life hasn’t been moving forward and I don’t want my readers to loose hope in finding true love and happiness.

Every time I talk to Ms. Crabby Cancer she gives me hope that there are good men out there. Even though, my dating experiences aren’t always the best, I have now been reminded that they can end up well. Even though I am jumping the gun, a lot, I don’t care. I am living for today. And today things are good. Congrats to her!

After having a couple of one-on-one conversations with her about Mr. P, I am assured that things are real. Their chemistry and intellect are matched to the T. Ms. Crabby Cancer and Mr. P want the same things in life and are moving full speed ahead towards it. The train to bliss is moving fast and she is on board.

How do I know this for sure you may ask? Let me give you a little back story. I am a part of a tight nit group of girls. We met 5 years ago and for the most part have been pretty inseparable since. Our group goes beyond the 13 (used to be 14) of us. Our group was added to a much bigger group and way of life and we have brought in groups of intelligent women after us.

There is one thing to introduce your male friend to one of us, but it is an entirely different story to introduce him to the entire bunch. Ms. CC has decided that the time has come to bring Mr. P around us. If you recall from my post about Mr. IE, our group strikes fast when we smell new blood and not too many men have made it out alive from our claws. (I must say that sometimes I am a bit involved in group interrogations.)

Knowing all of this Ms. CC has decided that to bring him to us. May God be with him when he meets the group. I wish him the best.

Note: I will no longer refer to Ms. CC as Ms. Crabby Cancer, she will now be called Aarvina. (correction:Aaronvina)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Coming to America

Last week I finally went out with a guy I have been ducking and dodging from for the last 2 years. Let me give you the a brief history lesson on him.

Most of my male friends are Nigerian, and at some point or another they have all made passes at me. (True story) None of which I have ever or will ever seriously consider. Don't get me wrong, these are very nice and well educated men, but, well they are my friends and I want to keep it that way.

I was at the house party of one of my exes not boyfriend Mr. Ace of Spades (Mr. AOS). Mr. AOS was the only guy I seriously dated in 2008 and I still had a thing for him. I went to his party to see him. During the party, I tried to stay close to my old friends, my tactic for not needing to meet new ones. It just so happened that most of them were guys. One of my guy friends, KO, went into the same sad song and dance with me I seem to have when I am around them.

Are you still single??


You’re too nice and beautiful to be single. Really?!?!?


Let me hook you up?

(Long pause) Sure, why not.

Two years prior KO had tried to hook me up with his cousin, K2, who was moving to the states soon. I played into the future meeting and gave him permission to give out my number. Unfortunately, I never got around to returning his call. I have a bad habit of doing that.

Then last year, around the same time I was dating Mr. AOS, I met KO’s cousin at a Nigerian party. I gave K2 my number, and then after a while told him I had a boyfriend. For me, the way things were going with Mr. AOS, I thought I would soon. Now, let us fast forward back to the party.

I’m going to tell my cousin to give you a call.


Two days later while I was out with friends, I got a text message from an un-stored phone number. This was followed up by a phone call from that same number. Less than 10 minutes later I receive another text message. This series of missed call and text messages occur within a span of 30 minutes. I change phones so much, I never know if it is a new person or old trying to contact me so I normally reply with my usual, “Sorry I just got a new phone. Who is this?”

Before I could reply, I re-read the last message. I knew from the Pigeon English that the person who sent the message had to be Nigerian. Instead of writing, “what’s good,” the message said, “wots gud.”


I smiled once I realized who it was. This began our back and forth messaging. K2 and I made plans for the following week. Unfortunately for him, better plans came along and I cancelled. I tippy toed around the subject of seeing K2 for a few more days, and never answered any phone calls. Even returning his text messages became an issue. My level of interest just wasn’t matching his. At last, last week we met up. I figured, it wasn’t good to write K2 off before even seeing him in person once.

We met up separately, much to his dismay I don’t like to ride in cars with strangers, at Benihanas Restaurant. Throughout our date, K2 poured on the charm. You are so beautiful, I admire you.

After we got inside, we got into the nitty gritty. This is the part of dating I hate to love. The initial meeting and the conversation that followed. It’s usually filled with back and forth banter about how we got to this point. Who are you? Where are you going, etc. I love it because I like getting to getting into the heads of strangers.

K2 plans on moving back to Africa after he completes his pharmacy or dentistry program. He is currently applying to both while he finishes his master in biochemistry. Calling him intelligent doesn’t do him any justice. During this time he would like to find his wife, who would of course have to agree to either A) move to Africa with him or B) stay in America with the kids until they are old enough to join him. I told him good luck with that. (Mr. AOS had this same, ‘Coming to America’ dream)

Two more hours into our conversation, after discussing my goals, I moved on to his likes and dislikes. I’m a pro at dating, so I knew how to keep the conversation flowing.

Me: Do you like going out?

K2: No, I’d rather sit at home with friends. When I do go out, I like to just chill and people watch.

Me: Oh, okay, well, what is your favorite movie?

K2: I don’t really like movies.

Me: What?!?!? So what do you do for fun?

K2: I enjoy spending time with friends and family. Eating. Travelling home to Nigeria. Ummm, I really like, “Coming to America.”

Me: I love watching movies; I guess I won’t be taking you.

K2: No, I would go with you.

Me: Even though you don’t like doing something, you’d still do it.

K2: Yeah, I would do stuff with you just to be around you.

Me: Bark like a dog. You said you like to do what I like.

I knew he would remember that scene from, ‘Coming to America?’ since we had just talked about it.

K2: (looks at me straight in my eye and bursts into laughter)

Me: I was just kidding. (Insert big loveable smile here)

K2: You’re so funny.

Part of me was kidding, but part of me was so serious. How could a grown man have no strong likes or dislikes of his own? Where was his passion? After that point the conversation didn’t get uncomfortable, and dinner was delicious. K2 knew I was kidding, and laughed it off. I glanced over to check the tip, which I always do. K2 passed with flying colors, $20. Good job, I thought. He walked me to my car and we went our separate ways. We have date 2 planned for this weekend.

This should be interesting…I’m taking him to the movies.

Monday, February 2, 2009

D-Day/V-Day: When did this happen?

This time last year I was basking in the glory that is single-dome with most, if not all, of my close friends. It’s one thing to be single with several single friends sharing in your experiences; it’s another thing to be one of the few single friends left in the bunch. Since when did my friends get booed up?

Now not all of my friends are booed up, but every time I look up, a friend of mine has found someone to gush over. While I am happy and wish them the best, I just didn’t realize it had happened. I was mentally making plans for the upcoming ‘holiday’ and I noticed my list of single friends had shrunk astronomically.

V-Day or as I would like to call it, D-Day (Date-less Day) is quickly approaching and, again, I am without a proper suitor. Yes, Chicago is still in the picture, but unless he is a magician, I will be spending D-Day without him. The one person I could always count on for some fabulous D-Day bashing, is booed up. Ms. Crabby Cancer herself is head over heels in-like with her new guy and I am nothing but happy for her. She deserves nothing but the best but her track sheet is filled with undeserving gentleman who don’t match her intellect and aspirations. This is definitely not the case with her current match, I think he is great for her and I wish them the best.

But where does that leave Si Si on D-Day?

Not sure yet, but it wont be at home sulking, that’s for sure. Looks like I’ll have to pull out my little black book and call some person I have yet to blog about.


I wonder where my phone book will lead me. I have no excitement about D-Day this year, except that it is my best friends’ b-day (Happy b-day Izzie!) I know I’m forecasting early, but for some reason I feel this year will be a little more interesting than previous years. I may not necessarily be speaking for myself either.

Congrats to those who are booed up this V-Day.


Congrats to those who are not booed up this D-Day. (Its not that bad being single. I rather enjoy it myself.)

Less than 2 more weeks…

Yay! (I guess)
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