Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I N D E P E N D E N T Do You Know What That Mean Man
She Got Her Own House
She Got Her Own Car
Two Jobs Work Hard U A Bad Broad
If U Aint On Sit Down
If U Aint On Sit Down
If U Aint On Sit Down
If U Aint On Sit Down

I completely understand where men are coming from with all these songs about Independent women. Between Ne-Yo and Webbie, women who are doing things for themselves have a lot to be proud of. Every time this song comes on in the club, I notice men survey the room to see which woman is singing the song the hardest in order to find their next prey. But the problem I am having these days is how do I point out an independent man?

Women have all these songs dedicated to Independent women yet we don’t have the same songs for men. Why is that? It’s because we believe it’s inherent in men’s nature to be independent creatures. It’s a part of their genetic make-up right? If you are a man, you stand on your own two feet. And usually it’s at an earlier age than most women.

Why is it that men have been maturing at a slower rate? The same men that talk about how they want a woman who has her shit together seem to be the main ones still mooching off mommy and daddy. I’ve noticed that men, well the one’s my friends and I have been meeting, think its okay to take their time when moving from up under their family and finding their own way in the world. Men in their mid-twenties are moving away from the shelter at a later age than normal.

As women have become more independent, why have men become more dependent?

I know that there are a lot of men out there and they would find offense in being referred to as an Independent man. Or at least I would hope so. A man isn’t a man if he is dependent on someone else for money, shelter or food, right. A man is supposed to be the hunter and the provider, if he is incapable of doing that, does he consider himself not to be a real man? Should I?

I know not all men are guilty of this, what I hope is only an LA, phenomenon. But I have been running into these men at a staggering rate. And this whole epidemic is just mind boggling to me as an “independent” woman who is looking for a real man.

If you have any questions as to whether or not you or your man is guilty of not being a man keep reading.

If your living situation is not conducive to a relationship, please take sixteen steps back; especially if you live at home with your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles. If for some reason you are going through a divorce, or a bad break-up and you still keep in contact with your ex, please do not apply. If you are in between jobs and your lack of work began before this recession take a look in the mirror and find your manhood. If the pink slip for your vehicle is not in your name, back the heck up and get on the bus. I don’t want to have to wonder who you will be borrowing a car from the next time we go out.

After my date last night I feel the need to add an addendum to my list: If you are not guilty of any of the above now, but you will be in 6 months, put your head down. Temporary “independence” is not the same.

Looks like I’m gonna have to switch up the lyrics for the fellas.


I N D E P E N D E N T Do You Know What That Mean Girl
He Got His Own House
He Got His Own Car
Good Job Work Hard U A Bad Guy
If U Aint On Sit Down
If U Aint On Sit Down
If U Aint On Sit Down
If U Aint On Sit Down

Surveying the room to see which man sang along the hardest…

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