Friday, March 13, 2009

Ever wonder, what if? (Part 1)

You ever look back on a relationship and think what if. What if I had done something different?

Rewind 3 years. I was a 21 year-old senior in college on the verge of graduation. I wasn’t sure what I wanted for my future in regards to my career (as a matter of fact I’m still not sure, dang.) My 3 ½ year relationship to my boyfriend had ended 6 months prior.. My friends kept telling to move on from my ex but I kept finding myself back with him. But 6 months ago I finally had had it and I was done. Our relationship had no future and I finally accepted it. Now I was about to graduate in a couple of weeks and in 21 years on this earth hadn’t dated any other guy except him. Given all of the above, it is clear to assume that I had no interest in relationships.

Then he came along. I’m not exactly sure when or how we met (although I’m sure it had something to do with our common organizations,) but Quatro made a quick impact on me and how I viewed dating for years to come. Unlike me, he was 25 years-old and those extra years gave him a clearer path to what he wanted in life. Quatro was on his grind, working 2 jobs while completing his undergraduate degree. Quatro was also looking for a career he enjoyed and that was one of the things we had in common among others. He was about 6’5, chocolate, deep voice, nice smile and built like a Terrell Owens (not as muscular but close.) I mean this brotha was solid. Up until this point we had never talked on the phone (which would have been hard since he didn’t have my phone number. All of our communication was through the internet (original right.)

Finally, we were online chatting one day and he asked for my number. I’m not sure when we passed the line from friends to dating but I was interested in finding out more about him. I remember asking all my friends what it meant for us to have been talking and for him to have asked for my number. I was completely clueless; remember I never dated anyone in junior nor high school so give me a break.

During our first conversation, Quatro defined our dating parameters. He explained to me that he wasn’t looking to date around. That if he found someone he liked, he wanted to focus on only her and begin a relationship. Being that my ex was the same way, I thought all men worked that way. I mean it only makes sense. Why would a guy want to play games and date a lot of women? Again, how naïve right?

For the first month, Quatro and I hung out consistently. His idea of a date was me putting on my cocktail dress, going to a restaurant by the beach and walking in the sand after dinner. Or we would rent a movie and snuggle on his couch in his apartment. At least three times a week I would go to his house to study because it was much easier to study with him than at my own place. Whenever I found myself daydreaming or wanting to take a break, Quatro would quickly put me back on track. He constantly reminded me that I was almost done with school so I should focus and finish on top.

When it was time for my graduation, I stressed over whether or not I should to invite him. I told him my ex and his family would be there and that I would understand if he didn’t want to come. When he insisted on coming anyway I could tell that he wanted to be there to support me. As soon as my graduation ceremony ended, Quatro was the first person to greet me. He caught me before I went outside to find my ex and all of my friends. He gave me some flowers and congratulated me on my achievement.

What I liked most about him was that Quatro wasn’t too pushy. WhenI told him that I would be spending the rest of the day with my girls and that I would catch up with him later Quatro gave me a hug and left. If this is what dating was like I wanted to be a part of it. I mean this we had only been seeing each other for a few weeks but I could tell how much he cared. Again, how naïve right?

After a few weeks into dating, Quatro asked me where our relationship was going. I didn’t understand why he wanted to define what was already working so well, so soon. We were having fun and getting to know each other, I thought. I told him I enjoyed spending time with him and I wanted to continue to get to know him but that I didn’t want to rush anything. I had just ended a long term relationship and wasn’t looking to replace it. He listened to my concerns about moving too fast and we continued at our regular pace.

The following week was Fourth of July. Quatro spent most of the day with his family while I was at work. We decided to go a fireworks show at a local park after I got off work.

As soon as 8pm hit, Quatro was at my house to pick me up. I could always count on him to be prompt and it was something I appreciated.

During the drive he made a phone call, something Quatro didn’t normally do around me. It’s not that he had anything to hide, he was just sure that when he was with me, all attention was on me. Without being too obvious, I listened closely as he spoke to the receiver. I could tell that he was talking to a woman but it was hard to hear what she was saying.

Quatro asked her if she had left the park. I couldn’t make out what her response but I was starting to guess who the person on the other line was.

After he ended his call he looked towards me. Quatro told me that his mother was supposed to be at the park because she, along with other members of his family, watched the first half of the show at the same park we were headed. He said he wasn’t sure if she would still be there but that if she was, he wanted me to meet her.

Mother!

I wasn’t ready to meet his mother!

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