Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Is it 6pm yet?

This morning I got the nerve to do something all my friends have been encouraging me to do for a while. Something that I thought would take another 5 years for me to have the courage and sense to do. It’s kind of ridiculous now that I realize how much time I have wasted by not saying something to him sooner.

For the last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about Detroit and our situation. I never had a concrete reason to not be with him. I think SiSi Fierce decided she wanted to run a muck as long as possible and who was I to stand in her way. But lately, SiSi hasn’t been feeling so fierce. Dating all these guys have left me completely unfulfilled and I have continued to compare all of them to Detroit. I had been contemplating when I should tell him how I was feeling for several days, but I wasn’t sure of the timing.

Yesterday I got the sign I needed. I couldn’t handle what Detroit told me in a text conversation. Apparently Detroit has been seeing someone. I didn’t think it was that serious, we have both been dating other people for a while now and nothing has ever come from it for the both of us. So, even when he told me about this girl a couple of months ago I didn’t think twice about it. How could he have the same chemistry we have, with some other chick so soon?

Detroit told me he was planning a stop light party. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the theme party I’ll give you a briefing. At a stoplight party you are only allowed to wear 3 colors: red, green or yellow. I think some of you get where I am going with this.

Red- Completely unavailable
Yellow-Proceed with caution (almost off the market)
Green- Available (I’m usually green at these shindigs.)

Detroit asked me what color I’d be wearing and I flirted around the question before answering, green. I nonchalantly asked him the same question and he replied with orange.

ORANGE, wtf?!?!

How could he reply orange? Orange. That’s worse than yellow. That to me means he is red by her standards and almost by his own. I started thinking, when the heck did this happen. It probably happened between the 19 months it’s been since we last dated. I always thought he’d be around so I wasn’t in a hurry to profess my undying love. I always used the excuse that I am young and dumb as a reason not to say something. After he dropped that bomb, I ended our conversation and didn't speak a word to him for the rest of the day.

That is until this morning.

I thought about it all night and decided to stop playing games. I liked Detroit and I want to be with him now, not 5 years from now when I finally decided to put SiSi Fierce to bed.

As soon as I arrived at work, I called Detroit and laid my heart on the line. Our conversation started off with his concern at my frantic phone call that came in the whee hours of the morning. I cut him off and told him that I am tired of playing games and depriving myself of time we could be spending together. I let him know that my feelings for him were strong and that I didn’t want to be with anyone. He was speechless. It wasn’t exactly what I had expected. As he started to reply I cut him off again.

I told him that I don’t want to ruin things with the girl he was dating and that I had been thinking about him long before I knew there was another girl. I told him that I didn’t need a response right away and for him to call me later tonight when he gets off work. I told him to have a good day and that I was looking forward to speaking to him soon.

Now I'm at work constantly looking at the clock to see what time it is. It's only 11 am so I know this is gonna be a long day.

Is it me or is time moving really slow right now?

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