Thursday, January 29, 2009

Uncensored: Motion. Ocean. Smotion

I was talking to a male friend last night on the phone and I was feeling a bit uninhibited with my line of questioning. We were having an open conversation about sex, which I feel is important when you are getting to know someone. I feel that if you are afraid of talking openly about sex with a potential partner, then you probably shouldn’t be engaging in those unmentioned acts.

We were going back and forth discussing our likes, dislikes, our craziest experiences and what not. There were no boundaries in our conversation which led me to my most outrageous question by far. It’s a question a lot of women would love to ask a man before they get too physical, but I am sure they are too embarrassed to ask. Since our conversation was flowing and sex was on my mind, I found the nerve to ask him. It’s not like I hadn’t been thinking about it (especially after an experience I had last year.) I deserved to know as a potential mate.

Do you have a small penis?

(Long pause)

He didn’t say a word for a while. I think it was the initial shock that kept him quiet.

No I don’t have a small penis.

I admitted that was the first time I had ever asked a guy that question without laughing. I was so serious. I really wanted to know. If it weren’t so taboo, I would ask this question so much earlier in a “ship.” Courtship, friendship, relationship. Whatever. I wouldn’t have to waste my time if I knew what I was dealing with. I won't sugar coat my likes and dislikes. I don't need a mandigo, but I can't deal with mini-me either.

"It’s the motion in the ocean that matters."

Motion in the ocean my ass! I've heard this phrase before, but never by a guy. It's always from a woman who is recalling her encounter with a tiny friend.

I told my unnamed male friend that I walked out on a guy who I’m sure had used this line on women before. He was a part of the itty bitty baby committee and I was completely turned off once I discovered it. I did like the guy, but I couldn’t get over the shock of knowing that this strong, masculine, sexy man, had such a undersized member. I never called him back afterwards. I told him I wasn’t ready when I walked out and left it at that.

Have you ever asked a guy if he had a small penis? If not, why not?

KD: Because they always lie anyway.


IZZIE said...

OMG you are a fool....

"itty bitty baby committee"=Pepito????

lol lol lol lol

I have never asked this question. I think I rather find out once the moment comes.

Jadiant3 said...

Yeah I've definitely never asked a guy straight up... I'm too scared of what he might think about be asking. He'd think I was shallow maybe? but f that... that's an important thing to know!

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