Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Here For: Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

“But technology did take over our personal findings like I know a whole lot about him and he was like let me slow down or else we will have nothing to talk about.”

Whether you were aware of it or not, you currently use an Online Dating and Social Network. Although you may not be apart of one of the primarily online dating dedicated sites like or eHarmony, social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, are putting an exponentially larger number of available dates at your click and call. You may not initially meet your potential partner through this medium, but I am sure you are guilty of doing your research through about a person through it, I know I am.

The first questions we ask or have answered when we first meet are always. “What’s your name?” and “What’s your phone number?” (I mean how else are you going to continue contact? Well, my latest trick is what your bbm is after asking what your name is.)

After we exchange cell phone numbers with a potential suitor (does anyone actually still use house phones for any purpose other than for our front gate system), we send each other friendly texts. Sometimes, instead of talking on the phone, we have entire conversations through text, aim, or some other form of communication before we even speak two words to each other over the phone. (A subject I will address at another time.) Then our communication moves onto Facebook and MySpace. Just think about it, 5 years ago, most people were not using this medium to “keep in touch.” These days, we post entire bios about ourselves on the World Wide Web for the entire human race to read.

What’s your last name again? Ok I found you, now add me as a friend.

I don’t think MySpace is the best place to try and begin a serious relationship but I can see how helpful it can be when getting to know someone. A lot of useful information that would otherwise be found through meaningful conversation is just one click away. You can tell a lot about someone by glancing through their top friends (more, if those friends pages aren’t private), checking out the song they choose on their page, looking at recent pics and reading every comment on their wall.

Facebook and MySpace have become an important part of courtship and dating these days. This can be good because you can get a deeper sense of a person on a social networking profile than you can on a dating profile. These social networking sites are usually used pretty frequently by their users, so you get a truer picture of who the people on the site are, but there is a negative side too. People tend to use the basic profile to their advantage. They learn everything they can about a person and then bring it up on their date in order to be more likable. That can lead to a distorted reality of who the person behind the profile really is.

Also, browsing through a potential mate’s friend takes time. Time you could otherwise spend speaking to the person in pictures and having your questions answered. “Like why are you naked in the middle of Santa Monica?” You probably tell yourself that you will spend only a minute on the page, but it turns into hours of checking out pictures of their last outing, getting into their mind by reading what they have in their “About Me” section, and looking at his wall to see if any girl has called him babe, or said “last night was fun.”

Do you instantly start leaving comments on a guy’s page? Or begin commenting on their pictures?

It’s not my style to do either. Even after dating for a short while, I won’t comment on a picture, nor will I leave a note on someone’s wall for a while.

Do you think this shift to online social networks is a good part of our move towards technology in this new century?

What is left to talk about after a thorough reading of someone’s page; hopefully a whole lot. If it is something worth pursuing, just because you learn a lot about a person through the internet, doesn’t mean that should be the end all of all conversations. If there is truly chemistry, technology has gotten you past the first stage and you can move on to the next.

How has it affected your last relationship?


IZZIE said...

I love this post.

I completely agree that technology has therefore replaced (actual) physical interaction.I am a definitely a practicioner of such acts, when was the last time my BFF and I had an actual verbal phone conversation??? I can't even recall but I do know that I am up-to-date with her life as she is with mine via texting and mainly aim. Honestly in some ways that blows. I think 5 yrs ago I didnt appreciate the physical connections as I wish I did. Now technology has definitely taken the toll.

I think that eventually people are not even going to have to meet in person.With the new iphone/ichat coming up people will have access to seeing each other via a tech. device. =O

I guess we can't do anything to change that because as humans improve so will technology. Appreciating the time people spend in person with one another is what we need to start doing now. Before we wish it was "5 years ago I could of"


Jadiant3 said...

I agree. Facebook is the first place I go when I find someone I might sorta kinda be interested in. I don't even have a Myspace page and I still snoop around there when necessary.