Dear Freakum Dress,
It’s about that time in my life. When I hang you up and trade you in for some slacks and a cute top or some other more appropriate dress. I can no longer parade around the club in next to nothing. I’ve gotten to the age where I look back at pictures and wonder what I was thinking. How is it that I let myself walk out the house looking like that? I usually reserve such decisions for when I’m seriously dating someone, but since that has yet to occur, this decision is based on age and maturity.
Although I feel I can make almost any outfit look classy and our nightclub battles are the minority I still I think it is time for you to retire. How can I react in outrage, when some man occasionally makes inappropriate passes at me when we are together? Don’t think for a second that this means the blame is all on you. I chose to put you on those nights. Though your existence in my closet is far and in between, this relationship just isn’t going to work. We did have our fun this weekend in Vegas, and I will never forget our other memories, but this is where our journey ends.
I am sure that you will get plenty of use from my young sister so don’t worry you will not go to waste. Nor will you sit in my closet and collect dust. Remember, we will always have the digital pictures.
P.S If I ever need a boost in my ego, I know exactly where to find you.