Thursday, February 12, 2009

Just for kicks: 50 and loving it!

This is my 50th post, can you believe it. Wow how time flies. This weekend I took the time to read over my old posts, and I can't believe some of the things I was thinking, doing and saying. But I've enjoyed [almost] every minute of it and hope you have to.

For my 50th post (round of applause again please), I wanted to get a guys perspective. It didn’t have to necessarily be on just dating but life in general. While I was surveying friends and searching the internet, a friend sent me this list. (I will have a real post next week; I am backed up at work.)

Note: Read number 7 out loud. I thought it was hilarious. I agree with some, not all, of his statements. I admit that I am guilty of number 25 and don’t care.

Enjoy

25 Things I Wish OTHER People Would Start/Stop Doing by some guy on FB

1. I want people to STOP having kids they can't take care of. Seriously. I wish there was a licensing procedure that you had to undergo before you procreated. Though I know this runs into serious constitutional issues, in a perfect world, we'd start screening prospective parents.

2. I want people to START reading a newspaper daily. You're an adult, and there's no excuse for you not to do so. Do not expect anyone take you seriously if you do not take yourself seriously enough to keep yourself appraised of what goes on in the world.

3. I want vegetarians to STOP inviting me out for lunch or dinner. My diet will offend you. I eat meat in every meal. I cook my vegetables in meat. I'm not your guy.

4. I want grown men to STOP ordering vodka and cranberry cocktails. You're an adult. You have a job with benefits or you're obtaining a professional degree. Get down with the brown.

5. I want grown men to STOP walking small dogs. It's unbecoming. If it's smaller than a football, it's not a real dog. And if it's her dog, then make her walk the dog with you.

6. I want people to START supporting Paul Mooney. He's the funniest human being on earth.

7. I want women that are chronically single to STOP saying that they can't find good men. Take the "Black Man Sweepstakes" inventory if you're having issues. Are you cooking? Are you raising hell at home? Do you embarrass folks in public? Are you telling your friends all of your business? Are you reading recreationally? Is your life raggedy? Do you keep those roots in shape? Are YOU in shape? Get right. We're not getting any younger.

7a. If you met Tyree at the club, he only wants your cakes. Play it smart. Stay out of the club, go to a book club or a Barnes and Nobles and meet a nice man that reads. Reading is fundamental.

8. I want Ibert to START considering Christianity so that we can eat BBQ pork ribs. Bert, you don't know what you're missing and Jesus isn't half bad (just joking...but you're seriously missing out, buddy).

9. I want people to START ensuring that their subjects and verbs agree at ALL times. If you graduated from high school, there's no excuse.

10. I want to STOP being embarrassed anytime a college football player from the South is interviewed on television. Guys, we've got to do better.

11. I want people to STOP asking me to try Hummus. It looks like vomit. Just leave me alone.

11a. I want people to STOP asking me to try sushi. It tastes like bathwater.

12. I want men to STOP carrying "murses."

13. I want people to STOP saying, "Now that we have a black president, I can tell my kids that they can be anything they want to be." What in the hell were you saying before?! What if McCain would have won? Do better.

14. I want JellyBelly to START making those Black History Month jellybeans ASAP. I've already got a few flavors in mind: Menthol, Peach Cobbler, Jiffy Cornbread, Ranch dressing, Candied Yams, Cheese Grits, Sweet Potato Pie, etc.

15. I want New Yorkers to STOP acting like rats running all around your city is whatever. At what age do you conclude that rats are okay? That's my question.

16. I want people to STOP acting like the Cracker Barrel isn't the best restaurant in the world. If you're rolling your eyes, you've never had one of those biscuits.

17. I want people at the airport to STOP acting like they don't know the rules by now. You knew that bag was too big to bring onto the plane. You know you can't take that big bottle of lotion through security. You know you have to take your shoes off. Please brief grandpa, grandma or auntie before you get to the airport on what she needs to do. PLEASE!

18. I want the NAACP, BGLOs and other historically black institutions to START doing more to revitalize broken families and communities and STOP having so many galas, banquets, conferences and summits. And stop being so self-congratulatory when you actually do your job.

19. I want people to STOP calling other folks when they have nothing to say. And I want people to STOP having loud, meaningless conversations on their cell phones in public spaces.
20. I want Kanye to STOP singing.

21. I want people to STOP using Jesus as an excuse for their intolerance and/or ignorance.

22. I want churches to START ensuring folks get out of church on time. I'm done at 1PM. Maybe 1:30PM.

23. I want my English as a Second Language friends to STOP getting attitudes with me when I can't understand what they're saying. Slow down and speak clearly, and we'll both be okay.

24. I want people to STOP treating President Obama like he's one of the Beatles and hold him just as accountable as you would have done former President Bush.

25. I want people to STOP putting all of their personal business out on the Facebook. It's never a good look. Way too much information.

HAPPY 50th POST!

3 comments:

Intreguing Lady said...

that post is hilarious. now i gotta look for it on facebook. classic. happy v-day

IZZIE said...

ummm for #3 is this how you feel when we go out????

=(

IZZIE said...

wait .... PUHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH I missed it.... ESL FRIENDS LOL LOL LOL LOL

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