Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Coming to America Syndrome: Is it a fit?

The original coming to America, Mr. AOS, has been trying [successfully] to re-enter my life. Since the person partly responsible for our falling out has recently been exposed, I am not sure what I want to do about him. This fact, along with a close friend dealing with the same syndrome has me questioning our ‘ship’ and what direction it could go in.

Mr. AOS made it very clear that he wanted to move back to Nigeria after he finishes his masters. And at the rate he is going, he will be done at the end of this year. During our short time dating, I never asked where I fit into his plan. We weren’t serious enough at that point and I was merely enjoying his company. But that was then, and this is now, 8 months later. Mr. AOS and I are not on the path to anywhere just yet but I have never forgotten his plan. It is way too early for me to ask if his plans have changed, but if things pick up where they left off, when do I ask?

Currently, I don’t even want to consider moving to another country to live permanently. He did tell me right off the bat that he does. That all his life he has dreamed of coming to the states to further his career and then move back home, soon after.

One part of me says that this type of thinking is way too premature. That I should live for now and enjoy it while it lasts. The other side (my quiet biological clock) is telling me that I should walk away. I know the type of feelings I have for him and I can only see my feelings growing deeper. My mind is running like crazy right now. But all I want to do is tell it to shut up. If this person makes me happy, I can deal with his future plans later, right.

Maybe I will consider moving to another country one day, most likely I will not.

Maybe he will fall so deeply in love that we can work it out.

Since I do think it is too early to think about it, when is the right time to think about it?

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