Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Bedroom Etiquette 101

I thought this was hilarious so I'm reposting it here. My girl SAM JONES wrote this for my other blog http://www.ihatethewayyoueatcereal.wordpress.com. I thought I'd post 101 because I have been inspired to write a 201.

Bedroom Etiquette 101
Submitted by: SAM JONES


Here’s a few things that really grind my gears in the bedroom. Men please pay attention…

Before:

Fresh Breath- Do I even need to elaborate?

Socks- No socks please. However if you feet look like the Crypt Keeper please keep them on.

“Magnums I hope”- Good for you, men who can fit them, but if you can’t, please don’t embarrass yourself by putting one on… smh

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During:

Easy on the dirty talk- I understand that some men and women need the sex talk to get them “there,” but I don’t need to have a full on conversation with you during this time. Keep it short and sweet.

Don’t make excuses- If your battleship went down too soon, don’t make excuses. It happens to best of them, just make sure you can set sail again (preferably within the next 15 mins).

After:
Remove your “gear”- Please don’t sulk in your “happy juice”

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No post ejaculation phone usage- I understand we just finished and im sure you’ve missed some calls/texts/Twitter updates but umm your still inside of me, put the phone down!

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Ladies what are some of your bedroom pet peeves?
[My response to this question coming soon!]

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