Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Letting it flow...(Part II)

I spent the entire week after going to see Chicago in San Diego stressing about what everything meant. Thinking that I needed to have a concrete answer to last weekend’s events and that I needed every question that came to mind answered. Thinking, as I normally do, that if you don’t request my time weeks in advance, that maybe you aren’t that interested in spending time with me. Thinking that maybe, that weekend of fun was just that, one weekend.

Chicago was going to be in LA this past weekend and hadn’t made any requests to see me while here. I thought for sure that maybe he wasn’t as interested in me as I was in him since he didn’t. I could tell when my friends asked me whether or not I would be seeing him while he was LA that they were just as disappointed with my answer as I was, “I don’t know.”

I did my best at every conversation with Chicago during that week not to let this concern show. I had plans for Friday night anyway, so it’s not like I was going to be stuck at home alone. It seems that someone I know was always celebrating something so my calendar stays packed. If Chicago wanted to see me he should have told me sooner.

It turned out that I spent everyday this pass weekend with him. From Friday, where I introduced him to some friends until late Sunday, any free time I had was spent with him. This weekend was just like last weekend, being in his company was stimulating and exhilarating. Our conversations kept my mind working and his sense of humor kept me laughing.

There was another by product of this weekend besides not having planned out our time together; I noticed that I became less of a phone hog. What is a phone you may ask? You know, those people who walk around with their cell phones in their hands, waiting for someone to call, email, text, Facebook or Blackberry them so that they can quickly reply. Yeah that is usually me.

Going along with my organizer instinct is this bad habit of always having my cell phone in my hand to make sure that I was available for other people. Something I had never thought twice about but could not understand why they couldn’t or wouldn’t do the same for me at times. This weekend, answering my phone promptly was out of the question. I was in my own world with Chicago no matter where we were and it felt great to relinquish some of the responsibilities of being the organizer.

My phone stayed out of my hand and in my pocket. I feel that it is rude to be in someone’s company and to constantly be checking your phone. So this weekend, like last weekend, I turned my phone on silent and enjoyed Chicago’s company. Doing this made me realize that not having everything planned out and not checking my phone 24/7 isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it feels great to just go with the flow.

Disclaimer: don’t go with the flow right before your sister’s graduation if you are the designated driver. People may get very worried.

I think I may try this more often. As long as I am not inconsiderate of other people’s time, I won’t be so readily available. That’s what they make voicemails for anyway right. If I don’t have any scheduled plans, I’ll probably have my phone tucked somewhere out of sight.

Dear Friends,

I know that you are not used to me saying this but please leave a message after the tone. I know it may be hard, seeing as though you rarely ever hear it but I will get back to you as soon as possible.


Signed,

Ms. Relieved aka Si Si

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