Tuesday, May 26, 2009

It's Cool I Got It

Picture this: You’re out on a first date with a person I hope you have some interest in. The waiter will come to the table to drop off the bill. Nine times out of ten, if they are a woman, they will place the bill directly in front of the male. If it is a male waiter, there is a 50/50 chance that the bill will be placed at the center of the table or directly in front of the male. I have rarely ever gone out and found that a waiter or waitress places the bill in front of the woman.

What you do at this point says a lot about your character. (Both male and female)

If I’m not interested, the scenario will play out like this and believe that I’m so smooth, I won’t even flinch. I’ll look you straight in your eye and wait for your response. The bill will be placed at the table and I will continue our conversation as if nothing has happened. If he is a gentleman, he will immediately pick up the bill, without looking completely disgusted at our total; place his AMEX or Visa inside the folder and continue our conversation. I have a sly way of checking out what type of tip is left as well; points will be docked from cheap asses immediately.

Now picture this: you had such a great time, or it was at least bareable and have decided to go out again. This time I try something a little different. The most common reaction I have gotten is a look of surprise when I pull out my credit card. I then watch my dates face cringe and twist into ways I’ve never seen before. Most of the time when I say, “its cool I got it,” my male dates don’t know how to act but that's not always the case.

“Oh really, you got it, cool?” (While looking relieved they don’t have to use their last few dollars on one dinner.)

“Ummm, no that’s okay. I got it.” (While giving me the, ‘I’m a man and I’m here to take care of you’ look.)

“Well let me at least take care of the tip.” (While looking a bit defeated but wanting to at least contribute to our meal.)

I always pay close attention to theses responses. Now mind you, I won’t pull my credit card out if I don’t actually have some type of interest in the guy I am sharing a table with. If I have absolutely no interest in seeing you again, trust me, I aint budging when the check comes.

If you utter any words that sound remotely like this before I willingly pull out my credit card : “You got this one right, since I paid for the last one, right?!?!?!” you better believe, no I aint got it and yes this is the last time I will be seeing you.

Why is it that some men feel so emasculated by a woman paying the bill while others expect their dates to contribute at least something or even half the time?

I personally don’t like paying when I feel it is expected, but I don’t mind picking up a few bills every once in a while since I recognize that dating is expensive. But that whole 50/50 thing has just never registered with me and honestly I don’t think it will. Men should know how much they can and cannot afford and stay within those boundaries. I don't need an expensive meal to have fun. So again I must say, creativity is attractive.

What is your opinion? Does Ne-Yo have it right?

How many times have you said, “Its cool, I got it.”

Cue music…

Ne-Yo (She got her own)

I love her cause she got her own
She don't need mine, so she leave mine alone
There ain't nothing that's more crazy
Than a girl that want but don't need me (oh!)
Young independent, yea she work hard
But you can't tell from the way that she walk
She don't slow down 'cause she ain't got time
To be complaining, shawty gone shine
She don't expect nothing from no guy
She plays aggressive, but she still shy
But you never know her softer side
By lookin' in her eyes....
Knowin' she can do for herself
Makes me wanna give her my wealth
Only kinda girl I want
Independent queen workin' for her throne
I love her cause she got her own...
She got her own
I love her cause she got her own
She got her own
I love it when she say
It's cool I got it, I got it, I got it
I love it when she say
It's cool I got it, I got it, I got it

I still believe that each sex has their own roles and I make sure not to take that away when I offer to pay. It's okay to tell me no.

1 comment:

Intreguing Lady said...

Ummm i'm with you. Honestly, I love that song. (cue the music now) but i think there is a key line in that verse you posted. "knowing she can do it for herself/makes me wanna give her my wealth" i don't think it's saying that she should pay for everything. i think its that she CAN if she needed to. that should be attractive to a man. but i think ladies also have to step back and let men do what they are supposed to. although if your date is struggling, then instead of expecting him to pay all the time for expensive meals, maybe get creative on dates so its not always as expensive. know the guy your dating. maybe he is in school so he doesn't have money. but he can still be a gentleman. as much as i like to be independent, i would rather not pay for my own meal. but i love the reaction to certain responses. hilarious.

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