Within the past week, Mr. AOS and I had picked up where we left off. When we hung out, it didn’t seem like 8 months had passed since we had been around each other. I really enjoy spending time with him. He knows how to make me laugh and keeps me on my toes. He makes me feel 16 all over again, but this time, it’s not just a fleeting feeling. We have history.
The week prior, my best friend Izzie had tentatively scheduled her birthday celebration for that Friday. This was her big 25; important to say the least. There was no way I was going to miss the celebration. We had been through so much together, and this was yet another milestone.
It didn’t dawn on me when Mr. AOS asked me to join him at the movies that Friday, that it was the same day. He hadn’t seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, and I didn’t mind seeing it twice. I was so happy to be seeing him again that I didn’t think of saying anything but yes to his invitation.
When Izzie mentioned her birthday plans again later in the week, I realized what I had done, but didn’t know what was I going to do to correct my mistake? Izzie would kill me if I missed her birthday party, but I didn’t want to cancel with Mr. AOS because I really did want to see him.
What do I do? I frantically checked the movie times at the local valley theather. There were two showtimes after the regular 9-5 work hours.
Slumdog Millionaire 7:10pm and 10:00pm
There was no way we were going to make it to the 7:10 with rush hour LA traffic. If we went to the 10:00 show, I would never make it to downtown. By the time we saw the movie, it would have been too late to leave Simi Valley (yes he lives 30 minutes away without traffic), leave him at his house and head to Downtown LA alone in Friday night traffic.
How was I going to fit both events into one night?
The obvious solution was not that obvious to me right away.
Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t introduce guys I’m dating to my friends. The only guy since my ex to meet my friends was Detroit. The only reason I felt comfortable of enough introducing him to anyone was, a) I had known him for about 2 years by that point, and b) we were no longer dating. It’s weird, I know. My friends are like my family, so I hold their opinions very highly.
I spent the next couple of days trying to think of what to do. I wanted to do both.
Solution: Bring Mr. AOS to Izzie’s birthday party. If we left the valley early enough, we could watch the movie, which was playing at a downtown LA theater at 10:10pm, and drive 5 minutes to the lounge.
Perfect!
I asked Mr. AOS if he wouldn’t mind going to my friends’ party after the movie. I knew he didn’t really like being in the club/lounge scene so I had an entire explanation laid out. I was ready to argue that this was my best-friend and that it was important for me to be there for her. Luckily, it wasn’t necessary. Mr. AOS readily and speedily obliged.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Red Carnation
Considering how late I got in last night, I was quite chipper this morning. I took my time getting dressed, making sure that my clothes fit properly, my hair was done and I looked refreshed. I took an extra 5 minutes to warm up my car, which doesn’t happen very often and headed to work.
My mornings are usually filled with bouts of road rage. I swear sometimes that it is some people’s goal in life to piss me off when driving. This morning was different. I turned the volume of my Jamie Foxx CD (bathtub music-check) and made my way to my office. I’ve listened to this CD several times so I am jamming as I drive. She got her own is my ish! I pull into the parking structure and am surprised to see several parking spots. Usually, if I arrive to the office any later than 8:45, I am forced to park in the second structure. Not there is nothing wrong with this structure, but everyone who works in the buildings want first dibs on the first structure.
I pull in, turn my music down and head towards my spot. As I am driving I see a gentleman across the structure in the corner of my eye. This brotha was on point. Creased dark grey slacks, white button down and a blue tie adorned his caramel body. This brotha took his time staying groomed, his low fade and Gotee were clean. I noticed all of this from over several feet away. Damn I thought to myself. Why was moving so fast? As I drove towards my spot he stopped for a second. Did he see me I thought? Maybe he did and he wants to wait for me. He heads back to his car; I guess he must have forgotten something.
I hop out of my car and head towards the main building. I notice that he is headed back towards the building as well. I guess whatever it is he left, he has retrieved it. As he gets closer, I notice that he is on the phone. How can I start a conversation with a man on the phone? Oh well I thought.
As I am walking up the ramp, we lock eyes. I smile and look away. After all, I am still very shy when it comes to attractive men. (Now men that I am not attracted to, have just the opposite affect on me)
I continue up the second curve of the ramp and our eyes connect again. Whoever he is talking to must not be that important because he keeps looking at me. I head across the street towards the building. He speeds up a little behind me as he ends his conversation on the phone.
At the entrance of my building stands an older gentleman in a Scrooge type black coat, a black suit and red bowtie. He stops me, “Excuse me miss,” and hands me a flower. “Happy Valentines Day,” he says.
“Thank you very much,” I reply.
When I arrive to the elevator doors an older Hispanic man holds the door and lets me in. The guy from the parking lot joins us.
“First floor right,” the Hispanic man says. “Yes,” I reply. (I have seen him around numerous times and we always share greetings)
“Fourth floor,” the guy from the parking lot says as he hurries in.
“I was hoping they would be giving out chocolate,” the guy from the parking lot says.
“Well since they didn’t give me any, you want to be my chocolate for Valentines Day,” I thought to myself.
“It’s okay I like flowers,” I reply as we lock eyes again.
We arrive at the first floor and as I exit I tell them to have a great day.
“You too,” they reply in unison.
As soon as the elevator doors close, I do what I normally do. I replay the events in my head. What if I had said something, would that be awkward. There was another man on the elevator so I was too embarrassed to flirt. Will I see him again?
I get to my desk and place the red carnation in a secure place. My coworkers, who did not arrive in time to see the building management giving out the flowers, make reference to my secret admirer.
“You must have a secret admirer,” one says.
“Ohhh that is a pretty flower, hmmmmm” another one says.
At first I quickly correct them. After the second comment, I get tired of explaining its presence. I decide that it is okay for them to think I have an admirer. Who knows, maybe I do. If luck should have it, I might bump into the guy from the elevator again. It's only a matter of time right, we work in the same building. Again, who knows.
Throughout this morning, I've glanced at my carnation and thought, that's such a pretty flower. I know one day I will have a [secret] admirer who sends flowers, but today, it's nice that everyone else thinks I do already.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Just for kicks: 50 and loving it!
This is my 50th post, can you believe it. Wow how time flies. This weekend I took the time to read over my old posts, and I can't believe some of the things I was thinking, doing and saying. But I've enjoyed [almost] every minute of it and hope you have to.
For my 50th post (round of applause again please), I wanted to get a guys perspective. It didn’t have to necessarily be on just dating but life in general. While I was surveying friends and searching the internet, a friend sent me this list. (I will have a real post next week; I am backed up at work.)
Note: Read number 7 out loud. I thought it was hilarious. I agree with some, not all, of his statements. I admit that I am guilty of number 25 and don’t care.
Enjoy
25 Things I Wish OTHER People Would Start/Stop Doing by some guy on FB
1. I want people to STOP having kids they can't take care of. Seriously. I wish there was a licensing procedure that you had to undergo before you procreated. Though I know this runs into serious constitutional issues, in a perfect world, we'd start screening prospective parents.
2. I want people to START reading a newspaper daily. You're an adult, and there's no excuse for you not to do so. Do not expect anyone take you seriously if you do not take yourself seriously enough to keep yourself appraised of what goes on in the world.
3. I want vegetarians to STOP inviting me out for lunch or dinner. My diet will offend you. I eat meat in every meal. I cook my vegetables in meat. I'm not your guy.
4. I want grown men to STOP ordering vodka and cranberry cocktails. You're an adult. You have a job with benefits or you're obtaining a professional degree. Get down with the brown.
5. I want grown men to STOP walking small dogs. It's unbecoming. If it's smaller than a football, it's not a real dog. And if it's her dog, then make her walk the dog with you.
6. I want people to START supporting Paul Mooney. He's the funniest human being on earth.
7. I want women that are chronically single to STOP saying that they can't find good men. Take the "Black Man Sweepstakes" inventory if you're having issues. Are you cooking? Are you raising hell at home? Do you embarrass folks in public? Are you telling your friends all of your business? Are you reading recreationally? Is your life raggedy? Do you keep those roots in shape? Are YOU in shape? Get right. We're not getting any younger.
7a. If you met Tyree at the club, he only wants your cakes. Play it smart. Stay out of the club, go to a book club or a Barnes and Nobles and meet a nice man that reads. Reading is fundamental.
8. I want Ibert to START considering Christianity so that we can eat BBQ pork ribs. Bert, you don't know what you're missing and Jesus isn't half bad (just joking...but you're seriously missing out, buddy).
9. I want people to START ensuring that their subjects and verbs agree at ALL times. If you graduated from high school, there's no excuse.
10. I want to STOP being embarrassed anytime a college football player from the South is interviewed on television. Guys, we've got to do better.
11. I want people to STOP asking me to try Hummus. It looks like vomit. Just leave me alone.
11a. I want people to STOP asking me to try sushi. It tastes like bathwater.
12. I want men to STOP carrying "murses."
13. I want people to STOP saying, "Now that we have a black president, I can tell my kids that they can be anything they want to be." What in the hell were you saying before?! What if McCain would have won? Do better.
14. I want JellyBelly to START making those Black History Month jellybeans ASAP. I've already got a few flavors in mind: Menthol, Peach Cobbler, Jiffy Cornbread, Ranch dressing, Candied Yams, Cheese Grits, Sweet Potato Pie, etc.
15. I want New Yorkers to STOP acting like rats running all around your city is whatever. At what age do you conclude that rats are okay? That's my question.
16. I want people to STOP acting like the Cracker Barrel isn't the best restaurant in the world. If you're rolling your eyes, you've never had one of those biscuits.
17. I want people at the airport to STOP acting like they don't know the rules by now. You knew that bag was too big to bring onto the plane. You know you can't take that big bottle of lotion through security. You know you have to take your shoes off. Please brief grandpa, grandma or auntie before you get to the airport on what she needs to do. PLEASE!
18. I want the NAACP, BGLOs and other historically black institutions to START doing more to revitalize broken families and communities and STOP having so many galas, banquets, conferences and summits. And stop being so self-congratulatory when you actually do your job.
19. I want people to STOP calling other folks when they have nothing to say. And I want people to STOP having loud, meaningless conversations on their cell phones in public spaces.
20. I want Kanye to STOP singing.
21. I want people to STOP using Jesus as an excuse for their intolerance and/or ignorance.
22. I want churches to START ensuring folks get out of church on time. I'm done at 1PM. Maybe 1:30PM.
23. I want my English as a Second Language friends to STOP getting attitudes with me when I can't understand what they're saying. Slow down and speak clearly, and we'll both be okay.
24. I want people to STOP treating President Obama like he's one of the Beatles and hold him just as accountable as you would have done former President Bush.
25. I want people to STOP putting all of their personal business out on the Facebook. It's never a good look. Way too much information.
HAPPY 50th POST!
For my 50th post (round of applause again please), I wanted to get a guys perspective. It didn’t have to necessarily be on just dating but life in general. While I was surveying friends and searching the internet, a friend sent me this list. (I will have a real post next week; I am backed up at work.)
Note: Read number 7 out loud. I thought it was hilarious. I agree with some, not all, of his statements. I admit that I am guilty of number 25 and don’t care.
Enjoy
25 Things I Wish OTHER People Would Start/Stop Doing by some guy on FB
1. I want people to STOP having kids they can't take care of. Seriously. I wish there was a licensing procedure that you had to undergo before you procreated. Though I know this runs into serious constitutional issues, in a perfect world, we'd start screening prospective parents.
2. I want people to START reading a newspaper daily. You're an adult, and there's no excuse for you not to do so. Do not expect anyone take you seriously if you do not take yourself seriously enough to keep yourself appraised of what goes on in the world.
3. I want vegetarians to STOP inviting me out for lunch or dinner. My diet will offend you. I eat meat in every meal. I cook my vegetables in meat. I'm not your guy.
4. I want grown men to STOP ordering vodka and cranberry cocktails. You're an adult. You have a job with benefits or you're obtaining a professional degree. Get down with the brown.
5. I want grown men to STOP walking small dogs. It's unbecoming. If it's smaller than a football, it's not a real dog. And if it's her dog, then make her walk the dog with you.
6. I want people to START supporting Paul Mooney. He's the funniest human being on earth.
7. I want women that are chronically single to STOP saying that they can't find good men. Take the "Black Man Sweepstakes" inventory if you're having issues. Are you cooking? Are you raising hell at home? Do you embarrass folks in public? Are you telling your friends all of your business? Are you reading recreationally? Is your life raggedy? Do you keep those roots in shape? Are YOU in shape? Get right. We're not getting any younger.
7a. If you met Tyree at the club, he only wants your cakes. Play it smart. Stay out of the club, go to a book club or a Barnes and Nobles and meet a nice man that reads. Reading is fundamental.
8. I want Ibert to START considering Christianity so that we can eat BBQ pork ribs. Bert, you don't know what you're missing and Jesus isn't half bad (just joking...but you're seriously missing out, buddy).
9. I want people to START ensuring that their subjects and verbs agree at ALL times. If you graduated from high school, there's no excuse.
10. I want to STOP being embarrassed anytime a college football player from the South is interviewed on television. Guys, we've got to do better.
11. I want people to STOP asking me to try Hummus. It looks like vomit. Just leave me alone.
11a. I want people to STOP asking me to try sushi. It tastes like bathwater.
12. I want men to STOP carrying "murses."
13. I want people to STOP saying, "Now that we have a black president, I can tell my kids that they can be anything they want to be." What in the hell were you saying before?! What if McCain would have won? Do better.
14. I want JellyBelly to START making those Black History Month jellybeans ASAP. I've already got a few flavors in mind: Menthol, Peach Cobbler, Jiffy Cornbread, Ranch dressing, Candied Yams, Cheese Grits, Sweet Potato Pie, etc.
15. I want New Yorkers to STOP acting like rats running all around your city is whatever. At what age do you conclude that rats are okay? That's my question.
16. I want people to STOP acting like the Cracker Barrel isn't the best restaurant in the world. If you're rolling your eyes, you've never had one of those biscuits.
17. I want people at the airport to STOP acting like they don't know the rules by now. You knew that bag was too big to bring onto the plane. You know you can't take that big bottle of lotion through security. You know you have to take your shoes off. Please brief grandpa, grandma or auntie before you get to the airport on what she needs to do. PLEASE!
18. I want the NAACP, BGLOs and other historically black institutions to START doing more to revitalize broken families and communities and STOP having so many galas, banquets, conferences and summits. And stop being so self-congratulatory when you actually do your job.
19. I want people to STOP calling other folks when they have nothing to say. And I want people to STOP having loud, meaningless conversations on their cell phones in public spaces.
20. I want Kanye to STOP singing.
21. I want people to STOP using Jesus as an excuse for their intolerance and/or ignorance.
22. I want churches to START ensuring folks get out of church on time. I'm done at 1PM. Maybe 1:30PM.
23. I want my English as a Second Language friends to STOP getting attitudes with me when I can't understand what they're saying. Slow down and speak clearly, and we'll both be okay.
24. I want people to STOP treating President Obama like he's one of the Beatles and hold him just as accountable as you would have done former President Bush.
25. I want people to STOP putting all of their personal business out on the Facebook. It's never a good look. Way too much information.
HAPPY 50th POST!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Coming to America Syndrome: Is it a fit?
The original coming to America, Mr. AOS, has been trying [successfully] to re-enter my life. Since the person partly responsible for our falling out has recently been exposed, I am not sure what I want to do about him. This fact, along with a close friend dealing with the same syndrome has me questioning our ‘ship’ and what direction it could go in.
Mr. AOS made it very clear that he wanted to move back to Nigeria after he finishes his masters. And at the rate he is going, he will be done at the end of this year. During our short time dating, I never asked where I fit into his plan. We weren’t serious enough at that point and I was merely enjoying his company. But that was then, and this is now, 8 months later. Mr. AOS and I are not on the path to anywhere just yet but I have never forgotten his plan. It is way too early for me to ask if his plans have changed, but if things pick up where they left off, when do I ask?
Currently, I don’t even want to consider moving to another country to live permanently. He did tell me right off the bat that he does. That all his life he has dreamed of coming to the states to further his career and then move back home, soon after.
One part of me says that this type of thinking is way too premature. That I should live for now and enjoy it while it lasts. The other side (my quiet biological clock) is telling me that I should walk away. I know the type of feelings I have for him and I can only see my feelings growing deeper. My mind is running like crazy right now. But all I want to do is tell it to shut up. If this person makes me happy, I can deal with his future plans later, right.
Maybe I will consider moving to another country one day, most likely I will not.
Maybe he will fall so deeply in love that we can work it out.
Since I do think it is too early to think about it, when is the right time to think about it?
Mr. AOS made it very clear that he wanted to move back to Nigeria after he finishes his masters. And at the rate he is going, he will be done at the end of this year. During our short time dating, I never asked where I fit into his plan. We weren’t serious enough at that point and I was merely enjoying his company. But that was then, and this is now, 8 months later. Mr. AOS and I are not on the path to anywhere just yet but I have never forgotten his plan. It is way too early for me to ask if his plans have changed, but if things pick up where they left off, when do I ask?
Currently, I don’t even want to consider moving to another country to live permanently. He did tell me right off the bat that he does. That all his life he has dreamed of coming to the states to further his career and then move back home, soon after.
One part of me says that this type of thinking is way too premature. That I should live for now and enjoy it while it lasts. The other side (my quiet biological clock) is telling me that I should walk away. I know the type of feelings I have for him and I can only see my feelings growing deeper. My mind is running like crazy right now. But all I want to do is tell it to shut up. If this person makes me happy, I can deal with his future plans later, right.
Maybe I will consider moving to another country one day, most likely I will not.
Maybe he will fall so deeply in love that we can work it out.
Since I do think it is too early to think about it, when is the right time to think about it?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Breaking all the Rules
Now I usually reserve my posts to writing about myself but I feel the need to venture out today. Especially since my dating life hasn’t been moving forward and I don’t want my readers to loose hope in finding true love and happiness.
Every time I talk to Ms. Crabby Cancer she gives me hope that there are good men out there. Even though, my dating experiences aren’t always the best, I have now been reminded that they can end up well. Even though I am jumping the gun, a lot, I don’t care. I am living for today. And today things are good. Congrats to her!
After having a couple of one-on-one conversations with her about Mr. P, I am assured that things are real. Their chemistry and intellect are matched to the T. Ms. Crabby Cancer and Mr. P want the same things in life and are moving full speed ahead towards it. The train to bliss is moving fast and she is on board.
How do I know this for sure you may ask? Let me give you a little back story. I am a part of a tight nit group of girls. We met 5 years ago and for the most part have been pretty inseparable since. Our group goes beyond the 13 (used to be 14) of us. Our group was added to a much bigger group and way of life and we have brought in groups of intelligent women after us.
There is one thing to introduce your male friend to one of us, but it is an entirely different story to introduce him to the entire bunch. Ms. CC has decided that the time has come to bring Mr. P around us. If you recall from my post about Mr. IE, our group strikes fast when we smell new blood and not too many men have made it out alive from our claws. (I must say that sometimes I am a bit involved in group interrogations.)
Knowing all of this Ms. CC has decided that to bring him to us. May God be with him when he meets the group. I wish him the best.
Note: I will no longer refer to Ms. CC as Ms. Crabby Cancer, she will now be called Aarvina. (correction:Aaronvina)
Every time I talk to Ms. Crabby Cancer she gives me hope that there are good men out there. Even though, my dating experiences aren’t always the best, I have now been reminded that they can end up well. Even though I am jumping the gun, a lot, I don’t care. I am living for today. And today things are good. Congrats to her!
After having a couple of one-on-one conversations with her about Mr. P, I am assured that things are real. Their chemistry and intellect are matched to the T. Ms. Crabby Cancer and Mr. P want the same things in life and are moving full speed ahead towards it. The train to bliss is moving fast and she is on board.
How do I know this for sure you may ask? Let me give you a little back story. I am a part of a tight nit group of girls. We met 5 years ago and for the most part have been pretty inseparable since. Our group goes beyond the 13 (used to be 14) of us. Our group was added to a much bigger group and way of life and we have brought in groups of intelligent women after us.
There is one thing to introduce your male friend to one of us, but it is an entirely different story to introduce him to the entire bunch. Ms. CC has decided that the time has come to bring Mr. P around us. If you recall from my post about Mr. IE, our group strikes fast when we smell new blood and not too many men have made it out alive from our claws. (I must say that sometimes I am a bit involved in group interrogations.)
Knowing all of this Ms. CC has decided that to bring him to us. May God be with him when he meets the group. I wish him the best.
Note: I will no longer refer to Ms. CC as Ms. Crabby Cancer, she will now be called Aarvina. (correction:Aaronvina)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Coming to America
Last week I finally went out with a guy I have been ducking and dodging from for the last 2 years. Let me give you the a brief history lesson on him.
Most of my male friends are Nigerian, and at some point or another they have all made passes at me. (True story) None of which I have ever or will ever seriously consider. Don't get me wrong, these are very nice and well educated men, but, well they are my friends and I want to keep it that way.
I was at the house party of one of my exes not boyfriend Mr. Ace of Spades (Mr. AOS). Mr. AOS was the only guy I seriously dated in 2008 and I still had a thing for him. I went to his party to see him. During the party, I tried to stay close to my old friends, my tactic for not needing to meet new ones. It just so happened that most of them were guys. One of my guy friends, KO, went into the same sad song and dance with me I seem to have when I am around them.
Are you still single??
Yes.
You’re too nice and beautiful to be single. Really?!?!?
Yes!!!
Let me hook you up?
(Long pause) Sure, why not.
Two years prior KO had tried to hook me up with his cousin, K2, who was moving to the states soon. I played into the future meeting and gave him permission to give out my number. Unfortunately, I never got around to returning his call. I have a bad habit of doing that.
Then last year, around the same time I was dating Mr. AOS, I met KO’s cousin at a Nigerian party. I gave K2 my number, and then after a while told him I had a boyfriend. For me, the way things were going with Mr. AOS, I thought I would soon. Now, let us fast forward back to the party.
I’m going to tell my cousin to give you a call.
Sure.
Two days later while I was out with friends, I got a text message from an un-stored phone number. This was followed up by a phone call from that same number. Less than 10 minutes later I receive another text message. This series of missed call and text messages occur within a span of 30 minutes. I change phones so much, I never know if it is a new person or old trying to contact me so I normally reply with my usual, “Sorry I just got a new phone. Who is this?”
Before I could reply, I re-read the last message. I knew from the Pigeon English that the person who sent the message had to be Nigerian. Instead of writing, “what’s good,” the message said, “wots gud.”
Ding!
I smiled once I realized who it was. This began our back and forth messaging. K2 and I made plans for the following week. Unfortunately for him, better plans came along and I cancelled. I tippy toed around the subject of seeing K2 for a few more days, and never answered any phone calls. Even returning his text messages became an issue. My level of interest just wasn’t matching his. At last, last week we met up. I figured, it wasn’t good to write K2 off before even seeing him in person once.
We met up separately, much to his dismay I don’t like to ride in cars with strangers, at Benihanas Restaurant. Throughout our date, K2 poured on the charm. You are so beautiful, I admire you.
After we got inside, we got into the nitty gritty. This is the part of dating I hate to love. The initial meeting and the conversation that followed. It’s usually filled with back and forth banter about how we got to this point. Who are you? Where are you going, etc. I love it because I like getting to getting into the heads of strangers.
K2 plans on moving back to Africa after he completes his pharmacy or dentistry program. He is currently applying to both while he finishes his master in biochemistry. Calling him intelligent doesn’t do him any justice. During this time he would like to find his wife, who would of course have to agree to either A) move to Africa with him or B) stay in America with the kids until they are old enough to join him. I told him good luck with that. (Mr. AOS had this same, ‘Coming to America’ dream)
Two more hours into our conversation, after discussing my goals, I moved on to his likes and dislikes. I’m a pro at dating, so I knew how to keep the conversation flowing.
Me: Do you like going out?
K2: No, I’d rather sit at home with friends. When I do go out, I like to just chill and people watch.
Me: Oh, okay, well, what is your favorite movie?
K2: I don’t really like movies.
Me: What?!?!? So what do you do for fun?
K2: I enjoy spending time with friends and family. Eating. Travelling home to Nigeria. Ummm, I really like, “Coming to America.”
Me: I love watching movies; I guess I won’t be taking you.
K2: No, I would go with you.
Me: Even though you don’t like doing something, you’d still do it.
K2: Yeah, I would do stuff with you just to be around you.
Me: Bark like a dog. You said you like to do what I like.
I knew he would remember that scene from, ‘Coming to America?’ since we had just talked about it.
K2: (looks at me straight in my eye and bursts into laughter)
Me: I was just kidding. (Insert big loveable smile here)
K2: You’re so funny.
Part of me was kidding, but part of me was so serious. How could a grown man have no strong likes or dislikes of his own? Where was his passion? After that point the conversation didn’t get uncomfortable, and dinner was delicious. K2 knew I was kidding, and laughed it off. I glanced over to check the tip, which I always do. K2 passed with flying colors, $20. Good job, I thought. He walked me to my car and we went our separate ways. We have date 2 planned for this weekend.
This should be interesting…I’m taking him to the movies.
Most of my male friends are Nigerian, and at some point or another they have all made passes at me. (True story) None of which I have ever or will ever seriously consider. Don't get me wrong, these are very nice and well educated men, but, well they are my friends and I want to keep it that way.
I was at the house party of one of my exes not boyfriend Mr. Ace of Spades (Mr. AOS). Mr. AOS was the only guy I seriously dated in 2008 and I still had a thing for him. I went to his party to see him. During the party, I tried to stay close to my old friends, my tactic for not needing to meet new ones. It just so happened that most of them were guys. One of my guy friends, KO, went into the same sad song and dance with me I seem to have when I am around them.
Are you still single??
Yes.
You’re too nice and beautiful to be single. Really?!?!?
Yes!!!
Let me hook you up?
(Long pause) Sure, why not.
Two years prior KO had tried to hook me up with his cousin, K2, who was moving to the states soon. I played into the future meeting and gave him permission to give out my number. Unfortunately, I never got around to returning his call. I have a bad habit of doing that.
Then last year, around the same time I was dating Mr. AOS, I met KO’s cousin at a Nigerian party. I gave K2 my number, and then after a while told him I had a boyfriend. For me, the way things were going with Mr. AOS, I thought I would soon. Now, let us fast forward back to the party.
I’m going to tell my cousin to give you a call.
Sure.
Two days later while I was out with friends, I got a text message from an un-stored phone number. This was followed up by a phone call from that same number. Less than 10 minutes later I receive another text message. This series of missed call and text messages occur within a span of 30 minutes. I change phones so much, I never know if it is a new person or old trying to contact me so I normally reply with my usual, “Sorry I just got a new phone. Who is this?”
Before I could reply, I re-read the last message. I knew from the Pigeon English that the person who sent the message had to be Nigerian. Instead of writing, “what’s good,” the message said, “wots gud.”
Ding!
I smiled once I realized who it was. This began our back and forth messaging. K2 and I made plans for the following week. Unfortunately for him, better plans came along and I cancelled. I tippy toed around the subject of seeing K2 for a few more days, and never answered any phone calls. Even returning his text messages became an issue. My level of interest just wasn’t matching his. At last, last week we met up. I figured, it wasn’t good to write K2 off before even seeing him in person once.
We met up separately, much to his dismay I don’t like to ride in cars with strangers, at Benihanas Restaurant. Throughout our date, K2 poured on the charm. You are so beautiful, I admire you.
After we got inside, we got into the nitty gritty. This is the part of dating I hate to love. The initial meeting and the conversation that followed. It’s usually filled with back and forth banter about how we got to this point. Who are you? Where are you going, etc. I love it because I like getting to getting into the heads of strangers.
K2 plans on moving back to Africa after he completes his pharmacy or dentistry program. He is currently applying to both while he finishes his master in biochemistry. Calling him intelligent doesn’t do him any justice. During this time he would like to find his wife, who would of course have to agree to either A) move to Africa with him or B) stay in America with the kids until they are old enough to join him. I told him good luck with that. (Mr. AOS had this same, ‘Coming to America’ dream)
Two more hours into our conversation, after discussing my goals, I moved on to his likes and dislikes. I’m a pro at dating, so I knew how to keep the conversation flowing.
Me: Do you like going out?
K2: No, I’d rather sit at home with friends. When I do go out, I like to just chill and people watch.
Me: Oh, okay, well, what is your favorite movie?
K2: I don’t really like movies.
Me: What?!?!? So what do you do for fun?
K2: I enjoy spending time with friends and family. Eating. Travelling home to Nigeria. Ummm, I really like, “Coming to America.”
Me: I love watching movies; I guess I won’t be taking you.
K2: No, I would go with you.
Me: Even though you don’t like doing something, you’d still do it.
K2: Yeah, I would do stuff with you just to be around you.
Me: Bark like a dog. You said you like to do what I like.
I knew he would remember that scene from, ‘Coming to America?’ since we had just talked about it.
K2: (looks at me straight in my eye and bursts into laughter)
Me: I was just kidding. (Insert big loveable smile here)
K2: You’re so funny.
Part of me was kidding, but part of me was so serious. How could a grown man have no strong likes or dislikes of his own? Where was his passion? After that point the conversation didn’t get uncomfortable, and dinner was delicious. K2 knew I was kidding, and laughed it off. I glanced over to check the tip, which I always do. K2 passed with flying colors, $20. Good job, I thought. He walked me to my car and we went our separate ways. We have date 2 planned for this weekend.
This should be interesting…I’m taking him to the movies.
Monday, February 2, 2009
D-Day/V-Day: When did this happen?
This time last year I was basking in the glory that is single-dome with most, if not all, of my close friends. It’s one thing to be single with several single friends sharing in your experiences; it’s another thing to be one of the few single friends left in the bunch. Since when did my friends get booed up?
Now not all of my friends are booed up, but every time I look up, a friend of mine has found someone to gush over. While I am happy and wish them the best, I just didn’t realize it had happened. I was mentally making plans for the upcoming ‘holiday’ and I noticed my list of single friends had shrunk astronomically.
V-Day or as I would like to call it, D-Day (Date-less Day) is quickly approaching and, again, I am without a proper suitor. Yes, Chicago is still in the picture, but unless he is a magician, I will be spending D-Day without him. The one person I could always count on for some fabulous D-Day bashing, is booed up. Ms. Crabby Cancer herself is head over heels in-like with her new guy and I am nothing but happy for her. She deserves nothing but the best but her track sheet is filled with undeserving gentleman who don’t match her intellect and aspirations. This is definitely not the case with her current match, I think he is great for her and I wish them the best.
But where does that leave Si Si on D-Day?
Not sure yet, but it wont be at home sulking, that’s for sure. Looks like I’ll have to pull out my little black book and call some person I have yet to blog about.
Hmmm.
I wonder where my phone book will lead me. I have no excitement about D-Day this year, except that it is my best friends’ b-day (Happy b-day Izzie!) I know I’m forecasting early, but for some reason I feel this year will be a little more interesting than previous years. I may not necessarily be speaking for myself either.
Congrats to those who are booed up this V-Day.
And…
Congrats to those who are not booed up this D-Day. (Its not that bad being single. I rather enjoy it myself.)
Less than 2 more weeks…
Yay! (I guess)
Now not all of my friends are booed up, but every time I look up, a friend of mine has found someone to gush over. While I am happy and wish them the best, I just didn’t realize it had happened. I was mentally making plans for the upcoming ‘holiday’ and I noticed my list of single friends had shrunk astronomically.
V-Day or as I would like to call it, D-Day (Date-less Day) is quickly approaching and, again, I am without a proper suitor. Yes, Chicago is still in the picture, but unless he is a magician, I will be spending D-Day without him. The one person I could always count on for some fabulous D-Day bashing, is booed up. Ms. Crabby Cancer herself is head over heels in-like with her new guy and I am nothing but happy for her. She deserves nothing but the best but her track sheet is filled with undeserving gentleman who don’t match her intellect and aspirations. This is definitely not the case with her current match, I think he is great for her and I wish them the best.
But where does that leave Si Si on D-Day?
Not sure yet, but it wont be at home sulking, that’s for sure. Looks like I’ll have to pull out my little black book and call some person I have yet to blog about.
Hmmm.
I wonder where my phone book will lead me. I have no excitement about D-Day this year, except that it is my best friends’ b-day (Happy b-day Izzie!) I know I’m forecasting early, but for some reason I feel this year will be a little more interesting than previous years. I may not necessarily be speaking for myself either.
Congrats to those who are booed up this V-Day.
And…
Congrats to those who are not booed up this D-Day. (Its not that bad being single. I rather enjoy it myself.)
Less than 2 more weeks…
Yay! (I guess)
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