I Never Wanted a Traditional Wedding

Silent Scorpion: The Serial Dater's official time of death was Saturday, July 5, 2015. It happened when I met and fell in love with my now fiance on a rooftop in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is also where we're going to celebrate our union with a small (and I mean small) number of family and friends. The day will not include a ceremony. This has been a point of contention with everyone around me who's projections run a muck when having a conversation about my wedding.

"YOU'RE NOT HAVING A CEREMONY???!!! WHYYYY?!!"

Short Answer: I've never wanted a traditional wedding.

Pauses for gasps.

Long Answer: I have never dreamed about a wedding. I've dreamed about being married and having a husband but I never had a desire to walk down the aisle in front of family and friends. I am excited to be there for the people I love and participate in traditional weddings, but anyone who truly knows me, knows I have never had the desire to have one of my own. A few friends of mine commented that they wouldn't be surprised if I eloped and trust me, we came pretty close.

I struggle with how to respond to people who project their own feelings onto me. Projection has been something people around me have struggled with all my life. Because of who I am and how I grew up, I just see things differently. For me, weddings are mostly for families. Many young girls have their father, or other family member walk them down the aisle. They have their first dance with a parent. They spend a lot of the wedding worried about how a family might embarrass them by getting drunk or dancing with friends. They probably get a sizable donation to the costs related to the wedding because those same parents have also been dreaming of this day for years. I don't have any of that because I don't have any family in the traditional sense. I have my sisters, my nephew and my aunt. All of them will be with me when I do get married; at the Manhattan courthouse. The way I have always dreamed of.

If I never had a reception, I wouldn't regret it. I am having one because my fiance and I decided we wanted to and at this point, I am excited about the party. We're paying for the entire thing on our own so we had to be very mindful of who we invited. Truth is, I could skip out on all of it and be happy to know that I'm still going to be his Mrs.

I hate when people say, "You're going to regret it if you don't do anything!" First of all, no I won't. Second of all, your projection is exhausting. Seriously, I never ask for people's opinions on my life but they are constantly inserting themselves.

It's so interesting (also read annoying), that I have to spend my life explaining to people why I don't currently celebrate Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.

I really do wish people would be more mindful about what comes out of their mouth.

I wish people stopped projecting.

I am excited about my courthouse 'wedding'.

I am also excited about the non traditional reception that will follow the next day.

I'm so happy I found someone who is as non-traditional as I am so we can be have our non-traditional celebration together.