Over the past several months, I’ve noticed that my friends who have healthy relationships, no matter how different they are from one another, have a few things in common. I’ve come up with my list of do’s and don’ts of dating based on these observations.
10. Do try and keep what made your relationship great in the beginning alive. A relationship is work. Sometimes we get so lost in our lives that we forget about our partners and what we did to make them happy.
9. Don’t build a relationship solely on superficial things, i.e. looks, sex, partying, etc. You should have things in common with your partner other than just fun. I highly value great conversation but you may value reading, traveling, adventure, etc. At some point, looks are going to fade and you don’t want to be left with someone you don’t really like at 70.
8. Do what makes you happy. At the end of the day, your happiness is all that anyone who loves you wants to see; if they truly love you that is. If you are happy dating the plumber and think you can see a future with them, don’t let your friends tell you that your partner is beneath you and that you should be dating a lawyer.
7. Don’t stay on a sinking ship. If you don’t see a future with your mate, know when to move on. If you are the only one trying to make things work, then recognize that you deserve better. Two great people aren’t always meant to be with each other. There may be someone else out there for you.
6. Do mention all the good things your mate has done when you’re talking to your friends about your partner. If you're going to talk to your friends about your man, make sure to include all the good things he does too! If there is no good to tell, maybe your friends are right.
5. Don't share all the bad things in your relationship with your friends, family, etc. The person you should be talking to about your relationship is the other person that’s in it...your partner.
4. Do say what’s on your mind when it happens. How can you expect your man to remember what he did last week?
3. Don't listen to everything your girlfriends, sisters, cousins, etc say...sometimes its okay to go with your heart.
2. Do know what you want. Know those things that can make or break your a future with a potential mate. Also, learn from relationships that may not have worked out. I don’t really believe that I have wasted my time when a relationship ends, instead I recognize all the things I’ve learned about myself in the process. And with each relationship, I learn what I do and don’t want in a partner.
1. Don’t go looking for love. It will happen when it’s supposed to. Understand that if you blind yourself by having a list of criteria, you’re going to miss out on one great partner. A partner who may not be everything you thought you wanted, but everything you didn’t know you need.