After a short drought in the dating department, I tried to figure out what, if anything I was doing wrong. For a long time, I convinced myself that I had too many unnecessary standards. That I should give all men a chance no matter what kind of background they had or what they did for a living. I had gotten such conflicting advice about my dating criteria. Some friends commended me, while others told me I would end up alone if I didn't change my ways fast. Against my own better judgment I decided to stop with all the rules. I was gonna date whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted. If they were cute and fun, then that's all I needed to make me happy.
I was dating this guy for a few months and I knew he worked in a store, behind the counter, doing customer service retail. We had fun when we hung out and I didn't concern myself with thinking too much deeper than that. I told myself that what he did for a living didn't matter. And I think I actually believed it for a while. Until I saw him in his uniform one day: Dickies and a printed uniform shirt. Reality set in. I had to confront how I really felt about what he did for a living.
I could no longer think short term. This guy and I could not have a future. Yes he was a lot of the things I want in a man. Tall, cute, attentive, kind-hearted, committed to his family and able to deal with my sarcasm (which I give all men brownie points for cuz I'm rough.) But, he had no goals he was working towards. He was supportive in my quest to go back and attain a second degree but he had no plans for himself.
Then I went back and analyzed our relationship. Yes he was a gentleman but we literally had nothing in common. We didn't really talk about anything of substance because he didn't pay attention to politics, hadn't read anything without a half naked woman on the cover since high school, didn't watch the news so he wasn't up to date with current events and his idea of fun was very predictable: Movie, dinner, and [insert any other boring and played out date activity here.]
I went back to my list and re-evaluated it once again. I added goals back to it. Its something that is important to me and I'm not ashamed of it. Goals don’t always mean a college degree either, but it does mean you are willing to work hard towards a successful future. Truthfully, the field doesn't matter, as long as you are passionate about something.
I also added common interests and some kind of hobby outside of work for reasons solely based on the obvious: if I can predict the events of your day we have a problem. Please add something besides, waking up, going to work, and talking to me.