Note: Again, if you plan on judging please do not continue reading.
At this point I was planning on moving as far away from NC for the rest of the night so as not to lead him on. But I wanted to see just how far he would go. So I made my way back to NC’s area with my experiment in mind. His voluntary participation was needed for conclusive results.
Hypothesis: A guy with a girlfriend will act an ass if said girl and none of her friends are around.
Dependent Variables: The dependent variables are the variables that are being measured throughout the experiment. The DV here are the different of boundaries he could cross during our interaction in the club including but not limited to inappropriate comments and/or touching and any plans for future contact.
He had already tricked my into giving him my number earlier in the night. If you have a girlfriend, what exactly did you need my number for, oh yeah, to help out a girl you just met in the club with a T.V.
Independent Variables: The independent variables are the variables that are manipulated in the experiment. The IV for this experiment include things related to me such as age, sex, body type, level of education and flirt-ability.
Possible results: Two possible results, a) he could not be interested in anything but being having a platonic conversation with an intelligent woman in a club. B) He is a dog and at some point will overstep his boundaries. This includes any actions that would not be made if his girlfriend or any of her friends were standing next to him.
Design: Flirt a little but still play hard to get.
Data Collection continued….
Me: I really like what I do right now and it’s the experience more than anything that keeps me there for now.
(My favorite song comes on…I stop after I complete my sentence about my carrer and start dancing.)
NC: You better stop before you get me in trouble.
Me: Don’t worry there is no trouble to get into. (Thought to self: Did he even hear a word I was saying or was he just waiting for me to dance in front of him?)
Next, I moved on to the, "your friend is more interesting than you," part of my experiment.
His friend had been eying me the entire night as well. So I lent him my ear for 15 minutes when NC was busy talking to someone else. It didn’t take long for NC to notice. I just stood there not giving NC any attention and focused on his friend. I pretended to be completely intrigued by the conversation I was having with his friend until NC interrupted us.
NC: Will you be my girlfriend for the night? He said assertively as he rubbed my back and looked me dead in my eyes. (What was he trying to do, mark his territory?)
Me: (Angry glare of disapproval. Question didn’t even deserve an answer. I instead moved away and continued my conversation with his friend.)
At the end of the night NC made sure to find me in the crowd so we could talk a bit more before the night ended.
NC: Damn you're sexy!
Me: (innoncent smile) Thanks.
Since this was a one night experiment, I'm not sure how far he is willing to go outside of the club. His text messages have been much the same as our time in the club. Full of compliments but nothing too alarming. He hasn't asked when he can see me and we haven't made any plans for the future.
At the same time, I believe NC thought he would get some kind of credit with me because he mentioned early on that he had a girlfriend. As if admitting how much of a dog he is early on, makes his actions any better. You don’t get credit for telling me you have a girlfriend. Maybe it eased his conscious, I know he had one because every so often, he would be sure to mention his girlfriend. Our continued contact and his constant references to my attributes, both physical and mental adds to the internal validity of my experiment. (Internal Validity: The ability to draw the conclusion that the independent variable caused the dependent variable.)
Conclusion/Result: Some men maybe dogs but some men just don't recognize boundaries.
Limitations: I was unable to fully explore NC's boundaries because of the time constraint and because I have a conscious. I don't get down like that.
Future Research: This type of experiment can easily be applied to many different types of men using my design. It is not limited to black males in the club. I’m not saying all men are dogs, but when presented with a pretty girl in a tight outfit, some men are. Heck, presented with an average looking girl in baggy sweats and an overbite, some men will stray. Also, in the future, a woman with less morals should be used to fully exhaust all scenarios with said man.
Unresolved questions: Where should the lines of disrespect be drawn?
1. Was rubbing my back when we know he has a girlfriend going to far?
2. Was getting my phone number for future contact too far?
3. Could the blame if we pursued anything in the future totally be placed on me since he told me upfront he had a girl?
4. Do you consider flirting while out with friends okay when you're in a relationship?
5. If not, what is? Kissing..SEX?
This concludes my experiment.