Monday, June 29, 2009

Happy 100: Love Live Laugh

Happy 100

I am 100 posts older and wiser. Over these past several months, I have learned more about myself through writing about my experiences than I ever thought possible. I’ve learned just how much I have changed as a person and how I cannot back peddle with people who are not willing to do the same.

I spent a lot of time this weekend thinking about the men who last the longest when it comes to dating me. Unfortunately what I now recognize is that I am not keeping those men who are ready for the kind of relationship I want around. After 100 posts, 1 thing is for certain, I am not the same. I can no longer wait for other people to figure out what they want, when I know for sure what I want and deserve. That brings me to Chicago.

This weekend, I decided that enough was enough. I have never been good at casual dating and I don’t make any apologies for it. When I like someone, I don’t like spending my time getting to know other people. I knew that I could see myself really getting to know Chicago, regrettably he still wasn’t sure and remained guarded. He wanted to continue our phone conversations without initiating plans to see one another soon. I could no longer wait for him to figure out what he wanted from me. The inconsistent calling and unanswered questions just became too much to handle. I told him we’d be better off as friends and if he figured out what he wanted, he was more than welcome to give me a call.

I know this scenario all too well, seeing as I’m usually the one that is guarded. And I know that nothing but time and patience can combat that feeling. Too bad I don’t have either right now.

LB is also one of those casualties. I don't see any future with him so I might as well not continue to waste his time.

New June Recap

1. Me...SiSi.

I am now only seeing the person that matters most besides my sister and that is me. I spent a lot of time this past week and weekend getting to know what I like and what makes me happy. I was able to explore interests that I’ve always had but never experienced because I wasn’t making myself number 1. I compiled a list of things I want to learn, places I want to visit and things I want to experience by the end of the year and I got a headstart already.

As usual, I am open to meeting new men but only when they show themselves equally ready.



P.S. I am sure that even though I won't be dating, I will still have plenty of stories to write about so stay tuned.

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