Why is it that men and women ask questions they don’t want to know the answer to?
Red and I talk pretty frequently now. He is so relaxed and laid back I don’t ever feel that we communicate too much. Unfortunately he is already in the habit of asking questions he doesn’t want to know the answer to.
Red: What are you doing tonight?
This is a question that I try not to ask early when dating someone because I don’t want to know the answer. The last time he asked I told him the truth and my friends were not too happy with my response.
Me: Going out with a friend
I wanted Red to know that he wasn’t the only one I was dating. I had plans with another gentlemen and I don’t think I should lie about it, so, I didn’t. This created uproar with my friends, one of them being a guy. In the end they all told me the same thing.
Friend 1: You are such a bitch for that. Guys don’t want to know the truth. You shoulda just said you already have plans.
Friend 2: Did you really tell him that. Dude, tell me you didn’t. I can’t believe you said that. Never tell a guy that. They want to think that they are the only one. Just tell him you have plans next time.
Friend 3 (Guy friend): Guys don’t want to know that, just tell him you have plans.
I understand what they are saying, trust me I do. But how many times, is too many times to say, ‘I have plans.’
I wanted to know, what should I say if they want specifics? What plans do you have tonight? Most of my people told me to lie. Say I was going out with the girls. Isn’t that wrong? I don’t like to play games but I see no other option right now. Red likes to ask me what I am doing regularly. I know he probably wants to make plans with me, but I’m sure he doesn’t really want the truth as to why I am unavailable. I know I wouldn’t, which is why I don’t ask.
Truth: I’m going out with another guy who is not you.
Truth hurts so I add a little sugar...