Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Truth Hurts

Why is it that men and women ask questions they don’t want to know the answer to?

Red and I talk pretty frequently now. He is so relaxed and laid back I don’t ever feel that we communicate too much. Unfortunately he is already in the habit of asking questions he doesn’t want to know the answer to.

Red: What are you doing tonight?

This is a question that I try not to ask early when dating someone because I don’t want to know the answer. The last time he asked I told him the truth and my friends were not too happy with my response.

Me: Going out with a friend

I wanted Red to know that he wasn’t the only one I was dating. I had plans with another gentlemen and I don’t think I should lie about it, so, I didn’t. This created uproar with my friends, one of them being a guy. In the end they all told me the same thing.

Friend 1: You are such a bitch for that. Guys don’t want to know the truth. You shoulda just said you already have plans.

Friend 2: Did you really tell him that. Dude, tell me you didn’t. I can’t believe you said that. Never tell a guy that. They want to think that they are the only one. Just tell him you have plans next time.

Friend 3 (Guy friend): Guys don’t want to know that, just tell him you have plans.

I understand what they are saying, trust me I do. But how many times, is too many times to say, ‘I have plans.’

I wanted to know, what should I say if they want specifics? What plans do you have tonight? Most of my people told me to lie. Say I was going out with the girls. Isn’t that wrong? I don’t like to play games but I see no other option right now. Red likes to ask me what I am doing regularly. I know he probably wants to make plans with me, but I’m sure he doesn’t really want the truth as to why I am unavailable. I know I wouldn’t, which is why I don’t ask.

Truth: I’m going out with another guy who is not you.

Truth hurts so I add a little sugar...


Stephanie said...




Jaded Radiance said...

Here's what you do (from the last person who should be giving advice but also someone who can't tell a lie to save her life)

Step 1 Avoid the question. Simple niggas will be thrown off by this tactic. If that doesn't work...

Step 2 Just say you "have plans." It's simple, effective, and obviously highly recommended. He still wants to know?

Step 3 Okay the jig is up, there's no where else to run. Answer the question. There's no harm in being completely honest. Besides, letting him know he's not the only one keeps him on this toes.

Step 4 If he continues to ask you in the days, weeks, months following: ask him "Why are you always asking questions you don't want the answer to?" I'm sure an interesting conversation will come out of it.