Monday, November 24, 2008

"I Don't Do Santa Claus"

Things are going great with Red. But I have noticed that I have my guards completely up. On paper he is everything I want in a guy but I’m not sure if the package it comes in suites me. I won’t feel bad about knowing the kind of guy I am attracted to and realizing he may not be it. The reason I never noticed Red as anything more than an acquaintance/friend was his weight. There is no way to sugar coat it and I won’t feel bad about it. Everyone has there preferences.

Whether you prefer darker skin or light skin, tall over short, or white instead of black. I have always been attracted to skinny over fat. And my definition of fat when it comes to a man is straightforward. If you have a belly that hangs, you would not be the guy for me.

Before Red asked me for the first time and before I knew he was interested in me, he asked me what kind of guys I liked. Through AIM I went into my usual preferences.

Me: Smart, funny, close with his family, stylish, educated (not necessarily with a degree I explained), caring, shows chivalry and of course is self-less.

He told me he was a legs and ass guy. I thought that was funny and let him know that as a black man it wasn’t that surprising.

That wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more. But I still didn’t know Red was asking for himself.

Red: So what kind of build do you like?

Me: I don’t really like guys who are too skinny. But I do like skinny I guess. And I don’t do belly’s.

Red: So what you are saying is you don’t like fat men?

Me: Well, yeah. Basically I can’t date a man who reminds me of Santa Claus. No No No Santa Claus’ for me. Lol

Then he just said ok and we went on with our conversation.

The next day he asked me out and the first thing I thought of was my comment about Santa Claus.

My type has always been tall and lean when it comes to the men I date. And tall doesn’t necessarily mean 7-foot either. (I went out with a guy who was 7 feet tall and it was just uncomfortable.) But I won’t date shorter than 5’11. I stand 5 ’11 and ¾ without heels and anything shorter would be uncomfortable. Especially since I love heels and I wear them all the time. I don’t mind being a man’s KIMORA LEE SIMMONS while we are out with my heels. But when we are home and I have flats I prefer that were are eye to eye.

Red does have height on his side standing 6’3 and I wouldn’t necessarily describe him as fat. But at the same time, he is not built like any other man I have dated. Red is a little overweight by our standards and I can admit that if this were 2 years ago I would not have gone out with him. I still think about his weight when we are not together but it doesn’t bother me that much when we are in person. Red has a great personality and can handle all the sarcasm I throw his way while shooting back, which I like. He is not sensitive at all; he is very confident and carries all the characteristics that I stated earlier. I just went out with Red again last week and had a ball. I enjoy his company and want to get to know him better.

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