Monday, November 24, 2008

Single By Choice: Don't Put A Ring On It

All my single ladies!

Who out there is single by choice?

I used to think I was single because I couldn’t find a good man. But recent events have led me to think other wise. I was in the car with one of my girls and Beyonce’s “Put a ring on it” (or Sasha Fierce whichever ego sings the song) came on the radio.

“I got gloss on my lips (lips), a man on my hips (hips)
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
Acting up (up), drink in my cup (cup)
I can care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Don't pay him any attention
Cause you had your turn (turn)
But now you gon' learn
What it really feels like to miss Bee”

“Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he* want it
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it”

We began to talk about why we were single and I was telling her about Detroit and I couldn't think of anything that was concretely wrong with him. I told her that during our last date I didn't kiss him because I like him. When those words came out of my mouth I knew I had a problem. Or did I?

Detroit is the kind of guy I could marry. I know he knows how much I care for him. Detroit has said repeatedly, if it feels right, then why fight it. And I let him know, sometimes people just aren't ready. I'm not ready.

My conversation with my friend then moved onto Red. I told my friend about the things I liked about him and then we got on the relationship subject and if I could see my friendship with him moving that way.

It got me to thinking why I was single and I realized that I am single by choice. I am sure that if I wanted to be serious with either Detroit or Red right now I could. I could have the title but would I have it all?

I would be required to check in, worry about someone else and be there for them all the time. Right now, I am too selfish to do that.

When I do have title girlfriend I put my all into my relationship and expect the same in return. I have only ever had one boyfriend in my life and it is not something I am rushing to get back into. It’s hard for a man to keep my attention long enough for me to want to get there. And right now the only person that has, is the same person I push away. Detroit.

Why? The answer, because I am enjoying getting to know different men and relationship would stop me from doing that.

I wonder, can anyone tame me?

I go out with my friends 3 to 4 times a week and don’t see that changing anytime soon. Although it would be nice to have that stability and have a family, I am too young to be bothered by either. I would love to have a boyfriend in the future. Everyone says I feel this way because I have not met the right guy, but I think I have. I just don't want to embrace it right now.

Here is my response to Beyonce’s song, Put a ring on it (single ladies), as it was so eloquently written by my bestess. I call it, " Please don't put a ring on it!" by PIK DIVA:

No time to marry, no time to settle down. I’m a young woman, and I ain’t done running around.

Did I mention I met another cute guy this past weekend that lives in Chicago, he seemed so sweet. The distance isn't a problem for me because I like to travel. Chicago asked me when I am coming to see him and I let him know immediately, “When you fly me out there.” I am not a gold digger, but I am not stupid either. If you want to see me, you will make it happen. Chicago let me know he does not normally do such a thing but also said that he can be flexible. As long as he is flexible, I will keep him around.

Good luck to whatever man can keep up or attempt to tame this wild beast!


Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie said...


No. 1: YES! YES! YES! I am in no rush to settle down let alone be married to anyone. I don't think it is necesarily being selfish I just think is a time to figure myself out.

No. 2: simply put: "you had it, you lost it, get over it cause you trashed it" SIZ

No. 3: Yes I quoted myself. lol

Luv ya bestest!!!

Great post

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