Thursday, October 2, 2008

Romance defined...as if there were such a thing

I’ve been trying to figure out what to do for my birthday, but I still haven’t come up with anything both exciting and economical. I am currently on a strict budget so whatever I do cannot cost too much. Honestly, I’m really not too excited about it. What is so great about turning 24 anyway? Whoop de doo!! I’m still broke, single, and share my space with my sister.

I’ve spent all of 2008 in the dating scene. Which has proven not be very productive for me. Last month I found myself reflecting on guys I used to date and I tried to figure out what went wrong there. After going through my short list of ex-dating partners, in my head, there was only one I couldn’t fully explain the demise of. His name was Texas and I had met him on a last minute weekend trip in Vegas. We and we hit it off instantly. Unfortunately, he lived in Texas and I lived in Los Angeles and I didn’t think there was anyway it could work. We talked everyday for 3 months and he even sent me chocolate and flowers for Valentine’s Day. That was the first time I had ever received flowers for a guy and I thought it was sweet. But that’s the kind of guy he is, he seemed to always place importance on my happiness. I was just not at a point where I could do the same. So besides the fact that he lived in a different time zone, I don’t think I ever gave him a real chance. Texas happened to text me at the exact moment I was having this revelation, we hadn’t had contact with each other for all of 2008, but we have been in contact ever since.

Texas was trying to give me ideas. We had been texting all night and he wanted to know the last time I did something romantic. Before this question, our conversation was pretty fluid, but this question stumped me. I didn’t know how to answer. I wondered if I really had an answer. Then I started to get a little depressed. Had I been so caught up in being independent and free, that I hadn’t taken time to do something romantic in the last year? The answer unfortunately was yes.

By the time I replied to his text he was already counting sheep and far too gone to reply. I said that I don’t think I ever have and that he was only one of two guys who had ever bought me flowers. Texas is actually the only guy to ever have them sent to me. I woke up this morning and was still bugged by this question. So I asked my best friend Izzie when was the last time I had done something romantic. She said it depended on how I define romantic.

Then it suddenly hit me. Why is it that I automatically equated scenes from a Danielle Steele novel with romance? I finally came to define romance for myself. In my eyes, romance is when someone you care about does something or shares something with you to show they care.Then I remembered a couple of years back, I took this guy I was dating to a nice dinner for his birthday. I made an even out of it. I wanted to make him feel special, because he was special to me. I had insisted that I drive that night and he agreed. I told him I would take care of him for the night and show him the chivalry I knew he would have for me if it were my birthday.

I picked him up at his place and took him to a premier restaurant by the ocean. It was just me and him and an empty room. I didn’t make any arrangements for it to be that way, but it just so happened that the area I chose was vacant. Then after dinner we went out to the beach for a late night stroll. The entire night was beautiful and not because it could have been a scene in romantic novel, but because we got to spend time with each other, just us.That’s my definition, what is yours? When was the last time you did something romantic?

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

First let me say... Independence + Women= POWER... when a person has the two at hand it shows strenght... and to me you are STRONG!!!

One of the things I've found is that in order to allow a person to make you happy you MUST be happy with yourself. I think that you have a lot to offer to a man but I don't think they have enough to offer you just yet. See most men might feel that you are too good for them and to be utterly honest you simply are.

You have accomplished more than you give yourself credit for this year. Regardless of the little bumps in the road you have triumphed through them and have become a much better individual...

On the romantic sphere of your blog all I have to say is that people view/think/act romance in different ways. Remember just because you think of it being a certain way doesn't mean that the next person sees it your way... Who knows maybe Texas will surprise you with something you think is romantic but to him it may be something not out of the ordinary. So just keep that in mind. Romance is what you make out of the situation not what someone else thinks. ;)

XOXO
Izzie

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