Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Tired of Kissing Frogs: I Need a Break

I have come to the conclusion that men want, what they want, when they want it. I never seem to be on the same page as their schedule and I feel this is one of the main reasons things don't work out. My unofficial relationships seem to always end up the same. I meet a guy, we date for a few months and then he disappears. I don’t know if it is the perfume I wear or something that I say, but poof they are gone. In the beginning I blamed myself for this cycle. That was at a point where I actually cared. Lately, I feel myself loosing interest in men all together. This is definitely not to say that I am going to start dating women, hell no, I don’t get down like that. This just means, you know, I haven’t really defined what it means and I don’t plan on it either. The last straw came last night while talking to Mr. Enterprise.

Just like the rest, in the beginning things seemed promising. I met Mr. Enterprise a few months back and we began to date. We were really taking the time to get to know each other and not rushing into anything we were not ready for. We went out several times without getting physical. After about a month of me dating, which included sneaking into his parents home, he started to fall back.

Now I hadn’t really been doing much differently the last few days, but he had. And I couldn’t figure out what went wrong. There were a number of reasons why I didn’t seem to care that he wasn’t calling as much. Especially since this man lived at home with his parents. In the past, my number one rule was that a man had to have his own place if I were going to take him seriously. I need privacy to say and do whatever I want at my age.

Yesterday, Mr. Enterprise decided to call me after a 2 week hiatus and I was so irritated. Our conversation was full of fluff. We talked about his birthday which had just passed. We barely scratched the surface on what was happening between us. Near the end, I was utterly aggravated by our immature conversation and his ego stroking banter. He told me he missed me and I replied with “whatever.” He asked when I was coming over since he knew I don’t allow men to come to my house, I said “never, since I am not welcome in his home.” I don’t think he heard my comment and he continued trying to find ways to find out who I was dating. I asked him why he cared and he told me had a right.

This infuriated me, just because we dated briefly doesn’t mean he had a right to know who else I was seeing. I told him he had no right to know anything and that it was none of his business. While I was trying to figure out a way to politely get off the phone, he continued to make comments about seeing me that I purposely ignored. I told him I had gotten used to not hearing from him, I liked him but wasn’t really interested. Finally, someone in his background interrupted our conversation and he promised to contact me later. One of the only promises he did keep. But I never made the same promise so when he texted me a half hour later, I ignored his message.

Why was I so annoyed? I think it was the fact that it seemed things needed to happen on his terms. Why do men feel that everything should happen when they want them to? It had been a while since we had a cool conversation and I was fine with that, but why at that moment did he decided we needed to talk? Do I need a break from men or is this just a defense mechanism?

Dallas just texted me, I’m so annoyed…


Stephanie said...

Hello S.S. I dont think men want things on their timing. I think they look for the right time to be comfortable with a person. I apply this to both sexes. When you begin a somewhat of a "dating relationship" you start off by sensing the person (i.e. character, influences, goals, motivation, etc.) sometimes one can fall fond of the characteristics of a person and perhaps apply themselves in the solution. However, I believe that there are times when an individual may be feeling the other person but does not feel as if they can apply their "persona" into the equation so instead they run from it and never figure out a way to solve the math.

I am in some ways discovering that about myself. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you will be happy to be with them. So instead what I have chosen to do is be happy for myself and care for me so that I can allow others to be happy for me or if they chose to be with me. I care for myself to allow others to care for me because at the end if I don't care for me then why would another care for me? In short... things do happen for a reason. This reason can be your alley to the right pathway perhaps to the wrong one, what you chose to do make sure in your eyes is the right path. Remember Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... you chose. Do not accomodate to fulfill anothers expectations instead accomodate your own!!!


Jadiant3 said...

Men are stupid. I have no advice. I just wanted to say that and that I love it when men get surprised when they go MIA and expect you to still be interested when they realize they had a good thing and come back. TOO LATE Mr. Enterprise! lol

There was an error in this gadget