Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Redlight

So much has happened in the last 2 weeks, yet nothing has changed. I don’t have time to go into detail yet because I am a bit behind at work due to my back to back vacations. Let me just give you bullet points about Detroit. I went to the Stoplight party (red=taken, green=available, and yellow=confused) he invited me to. I had a little courage juice and had the courage to tell him a little bit of what was on my mind.

I never realized how bright red was. I was blinded by his RED not ORANGE outfit. For that reason, I just couldn’t completely put myself out there. I’ve run the scenario over in my head repeatedly for the last 2 weeks. I’ve also told everyone who would listen that I can’t stop thinking about this man, but I am too afraid to tell this man the truth.

Does he deserve to know how I feel? Most definitely, especially after my behavior at his party. I was in no way sloppy drunk, but I was heavily inebriated and somehow by the end of the night, I had told every person who would listen that I came to the party just for Detroit and that there was no other man in that party for me. (I am so blaming all of those nights’ events on the alcohol.) Don’t get me wrong, the party was full of plenty of attractive, tall, handsome bachelors who were also in green, but I just wasn’t checkin’ for any of them. (What is my problem, right?!?!)

Even after making an ass of myself, I don’t plan on doing anything about my situation. (Slaps self in the back of the head.) Because I still doubt what I want our future to hold, I don’t want to disrupt his. He seems happy so I will let him be.

Is it me, or are my sheets getting colder every night? Oh well, I guess I’ll have to pull my bed warmer out of my trunk sooner than I expected and I'm not talking about extra blankets or a heater…

1 comment:

ShAy~SHaY said...

I think you should just suck it up and just tell him how you feel because you will always wonder "What if?" when you think about this man. I mean the worst that can happen is he say he isn't interested and he is happy with his significant other. Life is all about risks and chances. If you get turned down and least you know you made an effort and it just wasn't meant to be.

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