Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Top 5 Topics to Avoid on a First Date

After yesterday's...experience, I feel the need to point out a few topics that definitely should not be discussed on a first date. I thought all men already knew these but alas they don't.

1. Sex – Do I really need to explain this one. This is a number one no no on a first and second date. I don’t want to know the last time you had it, when you plan on getting it or how you see me being involved in it. If you are looking for a one night stand, you are barking up the wrong 6 foot tree.

2. Money – If I know how much you make and it’s not because we work in the same company and I once had your exact same position than that’s a problem. If you don’t have money, I understand that. Dating is expensive, especially in LA but try and be creative. Do me a favor and think outside of the box. Can you spend time thinking of cheap ways of having fun instead of blatantly telling me you don’t have any money so we can’t go out. I don’t kick it on a first or second date, so don’t try and invite yourself over so you can go through my fridge.

If you have a lot of money, I don’t want to know that either. You will look desperate to buy my attention if you offer trips on a first or second date. I say these things because they have really happened to me, really they have. Your money is your money, not my money. We aren’t in a relationship; there is no need to fly me around the world and back. (Unless you really really want to)

3. Ex or past relationships – If you call your ex crazy during our first couple of conversations and she wasn’t recently checked into a mental institute, than I may actually think you are the crazy one. I have had bad relationships, so I understand not everyone is a match, but when all I know is your name, I don’t need details on your last breakup. If you get all animated and keyed up when relieving the break up, I will think you are not over your ex and that it not a good look.

4. Future Relationship – Please stay away from words like we, us and our. I don’t know you from sliced bread; I don’t need you planning our future before I have had a chance to get to know you. If you say something about ‘our kids,’ I will mentally end the date, until I can physically and safely remove myself from your presence. If somehow it comes up that you plan on having a child before you are 30 and it doesn't necessarily have to be in a marraige AND you are currently 28 and 4 months, I will excuse myself to the restroom and never return.

5. Complaining of any kind - If you tell me you hate your job, your family and everything else in between, I will recommend that you get your life together before contacting me again. I am all about helping a man get where he wants to be and being a support system to make sure he gets there, but if you aren't already on the path to your personal success I can't be the leaping pad you need to get there. Overall I will think that you are an unhappy, grumpy person and that isn't the kind of person I want to be around. Instead focus on the things that are going right in your life, so I can see that you are happy about the accomplishments you have made. You have made some right? Remember, I'm talking about the first date.

...I have to add Pet Names – My name is SiSi. Not honey, not sweetie, and I’m definitely not your baby. If you call me a pet name, I will immediately correct you. I don’t get a warm fuzzy feeling when you call me by another name. I just met you so work on saying my real name before you think of a new name for me. I like my name a lot as a matter of fact. Don’t get me wrong, if we do continue dating, you have every right to switch it up a bit. And at some point baby may be appropriate. But if we have just sat down for our first meal, stick to SiSi. Please.

There are plenty more that come to mind, these are just my top 5. If there is any reference to any of the aformentioned, I immediately mentally check out of a date.

Do you have any to add? What is your top 5

1 comment:

Assertive Wit said...

LMAO...you stated some good ones, actually ones I don't want to discuss on any first date either.

I had one guy tell me on a first date:

"I like to fuck. What about you?"

In my mind, I knew the date was over. I thanked him for his upfront nature but I told him that on a first date to be so brash was rude. He thought the date went well...I never returned ANY of his phone calls.

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