Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Give A Little: The Art of Flirting

I don’t know how it is I meet people. Most of the time I think that I am the worst flirt. I meet guys all the time and I never understood why, besides the fact that I'm cute, I just don't send any signals.

I don’t make eye contact.

I don’t smile, in the direction of someone I’m interested in.

I don’t look available because if I get nervous, I quickly pick up my phone and text, call or try to make contact with someone so I seem busy. (Definitely an inefficient use of an opportunity I know)

I don’t even breathe in the same direction of someone I am attracted to.

I don’t give a little.

Mr. IE, I will give his introduction later, thinks I was flirting with him when we met a couple of weeks ago. But I wasn’t. The way I met him was by chance (thanks to all the thirsty females out there). I did spot him out in the crowd because he had swag, but I wasn’t planning on flirting. After we revisited our meeting and realized it was by chance Mr. IE gave me some advice and I’m passing it on.

Give a little.

Men work hard to get your attention. And if they don’t know you’re interested, how can they approach you. So here is the tip of the day: If you see something you want, go for it. Flirt a little; it will go a long way. Guys really do appreciate it.

Here are some flirting tips I found at http:/// I already do most of the below naturally, but never really thought of myself as a flirt.

Dress classy, not trashy – Your appearance speaks volumes to any man, interested or not. While most men like to ogle the girls who leave little to the imagination, most of them have little interest in and even less respect for them. You can still be sexy, without going overboard. Neat and stylish clothes and carefully applied make-up is all it really takes to draw attention to yourself.

Make eye contact – Eye contact is a perfect way to assert your interest, but don’t stare too long. Save the hours of gazing longingly into a man’s eyes for after the relationship has been established. Instead, catch his eye for a moment, and then look away. With eye contact, a little goes a long way.

Flash a smile – A friendly, warm smile makes you seem approachable. Nobody wants to have a conversation with someone who looks as if they have been sucking on a lemon. Look relaxed, confident, and smile with both your eyes and your lips to make a great impression on anyone.

Start with small talk – No matter if he approaches you or you approach him, small talk is always in order. Bring up a song that is playing, compliment their clothes, or anything else that might break the ice. Once the conversation has started, if there is a possible connection, things will begin to flow.

Show off your sense of humour – Crack jokes, be sarcastic, do whatever comes naturally to you when enjoying the company of another person. Laugh at their jokes as well, and be sincere about it. Joking around a little will help you both to relax and feel at ease with each other and will help to spark their interest in you.

Start an intelligent conversation – Don’t be afraid of initiating an intelligent conversation. Guys like a girl who can talk about topics of substance. This doesn’t mean you should start a political debate or a dissertation about religion, just try to keep the topics interesting and stimulating. Make sure that you are not the one doing all the talking; no one wants to spend their evening with someone who dominates every conversation.

Watch your body language – Body language can say more than words, even if you are not aware of the message you are sending. Uncross your arms to avoid appearing defensive and uninterested. A small amount of physical contact can communicate interest, so lightly touch their arm during conversation or lean toward them while they are speaking to you.

Let him take the lead, if he wants to – Most guys are still traditional enough to ask for your phone number if they are interested. Give them this chance, as the chase can be important to them. If he seems genuinely interested, but has yet to ask for a way to contact you, go ahead and take the bull by the horns and ask him for his number. Some men are just a little shy and lack the confidence to ask for your information, even if you have sent all the right signals.

Pick up on his signals – Unless you are totally blind, it should be easy to tell if someone is just plain not interested. Though it can be disheartening to be rejected by a total stranger that you find attractive, don’t take it personally. Never be pushy about getting a man’s attention, just politely walk away, letting them know how happy you are to have made their acquaintance.

Always be yourself – Be honest about who you are and what you are about. Coming across as too eager to please or being wishy-washy for fear being rejected can be a real turn-off. The real you will have to come out eventually, so what is the point of winning someone over with a false persona? As long as you are confident in who you are, most men will take notice of that and be very receptive to your advances, as well as to you as a person.


Jadiant3 said...

I like this post!

Mainly because everyone tells me that I'm a big flirt and now I see that I do MOST of the things on this list... small talk? yes, smiling? yes, touching? yes...

Hourglass half full said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the post Jadiant.

IZZIE said...




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