Thursday, November 21, 2013

Guest Post: Lowered Expectations (Part 3) by NotYourAllyKat

NotYourAllyKat is back with the last installment of her 3 part series. In case you missed it, you can read part 1 here and part 2 here. 

In recent recovery from a forbidden love and with a haunting past of trifilin men it becomes difficult to like anyone. It’s not that I don’t meet them; I just really don’t like anyone. Most of the time I have written you off within the first five minutes; your speech, way of dress, even body language, mean so much. If you were lucky enough to have gotten my number you have two texts to capture my attention. I have given up going on dates for free meals because it is just a waste of my time. I watch you pitifully try to interest me and I take notes in my head of all the stupid shit you say so I can retell this disaster in the most entertaining way possible to my friends.

Recently when talking to a few guy friends I asked them what they wanted in a woman. The answer was simple, a lady that can hang with the fellas, hold her own, and a bonus if she can cook. When I mentioned that maybe this woman should be independent, the conversation quickly came to a hault. “No, no, no!” they exclaimed. They explained a woman that is independent is too much trouble, too demanding, too exacting, wants too much, the list went on and on, apparently being able to take care of yourself is a turn-off.

This got me thinking maybe it’s not me who won’t settle, maybe no one wants to settle with me? I am that exact girl they were talking about. I carry myself in a way that makes it seem like I need no one. Although this theory was quickly trampled over the past months as hoards of suitors have pursued me in the thirstiest of ways. You know the guy that says “hey, how are you?” with no response for 18 days, I’ve got two of those. Or the guy that met you, and basically will do anything for you without knowing three facts about you? Also my personal favorite the old boo that uses social media to catch your attention by tagging you in something useless. So back to my original problem why don’t I like one? The intentions behind these men’s actions are good and it’s very clear they are interested. This answer is, too, very simple.

I won’t settle. I don’t settle for anything but what I want for my own life so why would choosing a mate be any different. Before you go all hauty –ta (is that a word?) so young and so foolish, I didn’t say I wouldn’t compromise. Compromise is different. Compromise is, you care so you meet in the middle.  Settling is like eating the measly peanuts with the promise of a huge feast just on the horizon. All these suitors were missing something; either basic common sense, boundaries, a general interest in the person I really am, or just an all around edge-I need excitement! If I settle deep inside I don’t care therefore I don’t want to meet in your middle.

I am independent, free-spirited, and exacting and I will not settle for anyone who wants anything less.  Just because I do not need anyone doesn’t mean I don’t want someone. Trust me when I want some one I know exactly how to act, I know how to stroke the male ego. (and then some! Lol) You can be king of the world, once you show me I am queen. As tired as I am of the games of this single life, I won’t settle. I can’t, I owe it to myself to get exactly what I want out of life.

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