Thursday, October 24, 2013

Guest Post: Lowered Expectations: Forbidden Love (Part 2) by NotYourAlleyKat

NotYourAllyKat is back with Part 2 of her 3 part series. You can check out Part 1 here.

As a basic human fact we always want what we cannot have, and being in my mid twenties all I crave is that all black everything, sleek, sexy Maserati. You know the man that is not good for anything in real life, but in this wondrous fantasy world he is your everything. I love him, not in the let’s get married, have kids and a picket fence stable sort of way. I love him similar to the fierceness of a dragon’s breath, the awe you feel when you open your eyes underwater for that brief moment, the freeness of the wind blowing through your hair kind of way. It’s a deep, intangible, unexplainable love. It’s all of those incredible things that make it so dangerous. Love that is like a drug and once you have felt it, you want nothing less. Much like a drug this kind of love leaves you yearning and lifeless once it disappears. My soul has yet to be the same and perhaps this is why I am never satisfied. 

He was an empty soul. Although nothing was ever out of his reach and he was capable of obtaining anything in life he could ever desire this still did not please him. He lived like a king in his cold castle, high above the peons of the world, further disconnecting him from the every day world. His job sucked the life out of him but rewarded him fiercely with more money than a man should ever be privy to have. Being an attractive man, women flocked to him and he in turn accepted the love without ever the intention of return.  He had convinced himself he favored being alone. He didn't want to worry about anyone else and rather dealt with women like ships passing in the night.

She saw right through it all. Their connection was too intense, too close to perfect. The way they fit like puzzle pieces in bed was uncanny. She had never experienced emotion for anyone like she did for him.  She wanted him however and whenever he came, her knees quivered while he was around. The anticipation of seeing him gave her the greatest anxiety, although she played her role in the game and kept her desires quiet. For she knew trusting in a shadow was ridiculous no matter how much she felt like he was following her. His intangible quality that attracted her so much would be what would lead to their demise. 

It seemed as if the universe was trying to tell her something through all their chance encounters. In a city with millions of people how could it be it was always him? In her tipsy blur of fun in the nightclub, it was always him at the table right next door. Him who she spotted on the patio as she merrily strolled into brunch. His building she ended up at after hitting it off with a stranger on a random sunny day. His college roommate she met at a party. It seemed as if she could not escape; with each encounter her lust grew less but the connection she felt grew stronger.

The story does not end with those chance encounters. For you see, the nature of forbidden love is tricky. Unless you have felt it you cannot truly understand the twisted way it pulls you in, like the ocean tide.  The water is frigid but yet you still wade, but before you know it you’re in too deep. It doesn't matter what anyone around me says because I cannot hear. I don’t even long for air; I’d rather be thrashed around by his waves than safe on land. That is the depth of my love, because even though I’m drowning he makes me feel invincible.   

Submitted by NotYourAllyKat

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