Friday, April 9, 2010

Ask Silent: Should I Stay?

Dear Silent,

Mr. Empty Pockets disappeared for 4 days after telling me that he was too broke to take me out. I was wondering what was going on and why I hadn't heard from him. We used to speak several times a day mind you. So I decided to just call him with a little encouragement from my sister. Initially I was going to wait a week just to see if this fool would really go a week without calling me. I called him yesterday and to found out that he's "going through something..."

The selfish side of me was thinking, "Not again, shit. Do I really want to continue talking to this man?"

The concerned side of me thought, "Damn, I know exactly what it's like to run into bad news with a limited time to try and fix the situation".

I know other than his mother, he doesn't really have anyone to confide in and support him at this time. He also explained to me that he does not like to throw "pity parties." I have told him that that he can confide in me and tell me about anything that is bothering him. Now I am beginning to wonder is this worth it? Will he ever open up? How can I help him?

A.B.C. Analyst


Silent: I personally think you are putting too much time into this one man you've only known a couple of weeks. I also highly doubt that the only person he confides in is his mother. That may be the only person he tells you about but I don't think thats the case. You haven't been dating long enough for your world to come to a halt. Be there for him when he lets you but keep your options open.

Grace: First, you have to ask yourself is he worth it. Do you see a future with him? And if so will you be able to deal with these issues? I'm sure he will open up once he knows you aren't going anywhere and you show him support. Which is going to be tough to do if you are unsure if you want to continue to talk to him. Figure out if this is something you really want first. If so, you can show your support by just being there for him and listening to him. If you find this is something to don't want to deal with, then good luck on breaking the news to him. I suggest you let some time pass so he isn't bombarded with his personal issues and you letting him go.

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