Thursday, November 8, 2012

Why it's okay not to ask for my number

After several conversations with some of my male and female friends, I stumbled across this here fable. I've found that guys think they are required to ask for a young ladies phone number at the end of a lengthy conversations.  Well, I am here to debunk this myth and let you know the reason's why it's better to end with "it was nice meeting you" and a handshake instead of requesting a number you're not going to use.

1. "It was nice meeting you" vs "I look forward to hearing from you".

The two may both seem like nice endings to a conversation but if I end with the former instead of the latter, I'm not all that interested. It was nice meeting you for the moment but if I never heard from you for the rest of my life, I'd be just fine. The last time a guy told me "it was nice meeting you" was at the end of a very blah date. Both of us should have ended the date much sooner than we did, but we were cordial and saw it to the end. The end of our last drink. He beat me to the punch but we were on the same page so I was cool.

If I tell you "I look forward to hearing from you" after I've given you my number it means just that. I expect a phone call. I know sometimes women who aren't interested will give a guy their number because they believe it is the nice but not all women do this. I do onto others as I want done on to me (more on that at another time).

2. If you take my number and I'm remotely interested, I expect a phone call or text message. within the next 3 days. 

Unless you're leaving the country within that time frame, there is no need to babysit my number. It does not make you seem more appealing. A man who is slow to call me is likely not that interested. Which is fine but I noticed and until we go out that's all I know about you.

It's crazy to think that a woman wants to hear from a man she gives her number to (read: sarcasm), but yes I am expecting it. It may seem uncomfortable to you to end a conversation with an attractive young lady with a handshake but trust me when I say she'd prefer that handshake over you taking her number and not calling.

3. You don't have to ask for my number.
I know it seems awkward but trust me you don't. I don't know you and you don't know me. I have absolutely zero expectations during this initial interaction except that you will be pleasant. As long as you've done that, then you can keep it pushing.

I have a feeling some men needed to read this. They feel like they have to request the number because they have just spent 20 minutes occupying our space, but I am here to let you know, you don't.

Take my hand, shake it and walk away.

You're welcome.

Note: This does not apply to the men who initially were interest but lost interest somewhere along the way or simply forgot. Shit happens.

Followup post for why women shouldn't give out their numbers when they aren't interested is coming fellas. I know the game.

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