Saturday, September 10, 2011

Who's To Blame?

I was catching up with my girl about this Non M*Factor aka The Situation who I stopped dating shortly before moving to NY. She told me something about him that made me die in laughter. Apparently, The Situation has been telling her that he misses me (bullshit!). Apart of me would like to know the motive behind his interactions with her, and the other part of me doesn't care. Since this "conversation" between the two of them occurred on twitter, my girl advised me to check it out. With a simple click of a bubble, I was able to see everything he was saying about me.

Allow me to highlight some points:

The Situation: [Silent] doesn't love me anymore. (Correct!)

The Situation: [Silent] is too hard to read. (The feeling is mutual)

Then my girl went on to tell him that she doesn't really like him as a person because of some of the stories I told her about him.

The Situation: Funny how the friend automatically not like someone because of something they heard.

So who's fault is it that she doesn't like him?

As my best friend, she heard all the biased stories. All she heard was my side so I can admit, yes they were biased BUT I do not control her feelings. If there is one more (its more like 10 after that incident he pulled at my homegirls party) that don't like him because of the way he treated me, that's not my problem. I don't tell my friends how to process my life.

Granted, I could have handled some things differently. When I was into him, I kept some stories to myself. I did. At the very moment I decided I didn't see myself with him, that's when I told my girls everything. And I mean everything. The bad and the worse. After some much needed growing, I realize that wasn't the most mature thing to do and I've vowed never to share that much detail with anyone. You've probably noticed that I keep more of my personal business to myself than I did before, hence why I am on hiatus from writing about my dating life in NY. From Twitter to this blog, its my business and I'm going to keep it that way.

But this, this I wanted to share because I really want to know, who's to blame when a friend doesn't like the ex after a relationship comes to an end? Hypothetically, if they had become friends during our courtship, should they then break off their friendship once ours had ended?

1 comment:

Tunde said...

honestly i'm still friends with a couple of my exes' friends. i don't think you did him any favors by only telling your friends the bad things about the relationship. its all they have to go off. i'm pretty sure there were some good things as well (otherwise you wouldn't have dated him).

also, i think your friends should realize the old addage: "there's 3 sides to every story. his side, your side and the truth."