Sunday, September 25, 2011

I Miss Her

I never really talk about her but I think about her all the time. My mother was such a strong woman, she had to be having me as a daughter. I was a handful. As were my sisters.

I find myself unable to sleep or study sometimes because I can't help but think about her. (i.e. right now...my book is in my lap)

What if she was still alive, would she be proud? (I already know the answer to this but I'd love to hear those words come from her mouth.)

How did she meet my father and end up marrying him?

What advice would she give me regarding my own dating life?

Would I still be afraid of getting a whooping at 26? (knowing her YESS!)

I can speculate on the answers to these questions but these are questions I'll never get the answer to. No matter how much time passes, I don't miss her any less. Time does not heal all wounds. I can handle my emotions regarding the woman that gave me birth better than I could almost 9 years ago, but I'll never forget my sister coming into our room, waking me from my non-blissful sleep and telling me our mother had passed.

I'm tearing up as I write this post so I'm going to stop here and leave you with these words. If you are blessed enough to have living parents you love, tell them you love them everyday. I'm so happy I was able to tell my mother I loved her days before she passed.

I miss her. I love her. I am her.

1 comment:

biggerthomas said...

great post. i'm fortunate enough to have both my parents. i know this will not always be the case. i cherish both of them in different ways.

not knowing how it can truly feel to lose a parent i will only say rejoice in the fact that you got to know her and she raised a wonderful young woman. :)

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