Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I'll never understand

I'll never understand how two people can be inseparable one day and not stand to be in each others presence the next. We spent the last 10 years getting to know each other. Each others likes and dislikes, what makes us laugh and what makes us cry. If you asked me anything about her, I could give you an answer up until a couple of years ago. We started growing apart. I was going off and to college and discovering myself. She stayed behind in our neighborhood looking down on the new friends I was making.

One day, she was sitting in my room (yes we were roommates, I'd never do that again) gossiping about one of her friends. All I had to say was hello and she would tell me all their business. Then, I had an epiphany! If this bitch (excuse my American expletive) was talking this much shit (excuse me again) about girls who had now become her close friends, what had she said about me? From that moment on, I didn't share any personal information with her. More months passed and I didn't even want to hear her talk mess about her so called friends. She noticed and she would stop disturbing me when I was studying to talk about their deepest darkest secrets.

More months passed and although we were still living together, we were no longer friends. Associates would have been more fitting but at one point we weren't even that anymore. We had become enemies. Just looking at her made my stomach turn.

Fast-forward to 5 minutes ago. I haven't heard a peep from the girl since she left my roommate and I high and dry without much notice. All of those feelings of anger came rushing back when I saw her on my twitter feed. I looked at her page for a second, she looked the same but I don't want to think about her and what happened anymore. So instead of spending any more time being angry about it, I decided to blog about. This is my first and last blog about her. And I put her and our relationship to rest.

As a matter of fact, I totally understand why things like this happen. People grow apart. Friendships end and people move on. Because of our abrupt departure from each others lives (I'm only speaking physically, we had stopped being friends long before I moved,) I am a better person. With this last sentence, I put her and her existence back to rest.

3 comments:

Mr. Fantastic said...

And the true sign of maturity is being able to let it go and recognize that there was no need for carrying the devil's bags any further.

A Nuyorican said...

Unfortunately, this happens often, even if there is no baggage involved. Some of my close friends from the neighborhood went south once I went to college. Different interests, dreams, etc. causes separation. Your circle widened while they remained the same. I wanted to explore the world while they never made it past the corner lamp post. It's life. If you are not growing together, separation will happen in friendships as well as romance.

A Conscious Mind said...

I'm really glad you are at this place now in regards to the situation. It takes a while to really deal with the loss of a friendship, regardless of why it happens. Glad to see your growth!