Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Did he apologize?
Last week my girls and I were watching 'Waiting To Exhale.' What I never realized when watching this movie as an adolescent was that each character had bad sex in the first 3 sex scenes. While encountering scene after scene of just awful sex we got on the topic of our own unfortunate sexual encounters.
I had admitted that I had only once dealt with a man who performed horribly and was never given the chance to redeem himself because he didn't apologize. It was a guy had been seeing off and on for a couple of years. By the time we had sex, it wasn't at all how I had imagined it. The guy was such a smooth talker I thought for sure we were going to connect sexually. To my surprise he was done much too early and I was left completely unsatisfied. When he made no comment about the poor performance, I mean the least he could have done was say sorry, I knew he wasn't worried about how I came out in the equation. He got his and was done. And for that so was I. His selfish behavior was not going to be rewarded with any more of my attention. That was our first and last time.
Then my girl started telling me her own story.
She had been seriously dating this guy for several months. There relationship started off as a friendship but the attraction and chemistry between them was undeniable. After months and months of dancing around home base, the 3rd place coach was waving him in to home plate. Unfortunately he was so excited he didn't even knock it pass the pitcher. She said he had a few pumps, said it felt too good and he was out. I mean he struck waaay out. Less than 2 minutes passed before the game was over.
"Whoa! Say what?!?! 2 minutes?!?!"
"Did he apologize," I asked.
An apology could mean the difference between a future inning and the end of a season. If he had said sorry for his premature completion, she would have been willing to give him another chance (as I would have for Mr. Selfish above.) Lucky for him he did, he immediately and emphatically apologized for his short performance. The acknowledgement of what he called uncharacteristic behavior is what garnered him a second opportunity with her. The only thing worse than bad sex, is having a partner who doesn't realize he's bad at it. Moral of the story is, a simple sorry goes a long way.