Tuesday, March 2, 2010

RePost: Uncensored: Ocean. Motion. Smotion

I was talking to a guy I had been on a few dates with recently and was feeling a bit uninhibited with my line of questioning. We were talking about about sex, which is important when you are getting to know someone. I feel that if you are afraid of talking openly about sex with a potential partner, then you probably shouldn’t be engaging in those unmentioned acts.

This guy and I were going back and forth discussing our likes, dislikes, our craziest experiences and what not. There were no boundaries in our conversation which led me to my most outrageous question in my history of dating. It’s a question a lot of women would love to ask a man before they get too physical, but I am sure they are too embarrassed. Since our conversation was flowing and sex was on my mind, I found the nerve to ask him. It’s not like I hadn’t been thinking about it (especially after an experience I had a couple of years ago.)

"Do you have a small penis?"

(Insert long pause. I didn't even crack a smile on the other end of the phone, I was on the edge of my seat waiting for his response. He didn’t say a word for at least 7 seconds. Which is eons when waiting for that answer. I think it was the initial surprise at my directness that kept him quiet. At least I had hoped so.)

"No, I don’t have a small penis. "

I later admitted that was the first time I had ever asked a guy that question. If it weren’t so taboo, I would ask this question so much earlier in a “ship:” courtship/relationship. It would help to know if I'm gonna spend hours searching for your "manhood" like I did when the Asian jumped out of that trunk in 'The Hangover." (I seriously paused and replayed that scene over and over because I was in such shock.) Before I start spending countless hours fantasizing about what I assume he's working with, I thought it would just be easier to ask. (Ya'll aren't the only one's imagining what sex might be like beforehand.) I wouldn’t have to waste his time or mine once I figure out that I'm emotionally and sexually attracted him trying to use creative aways to assess his "member." [I'll have to do a follow up post on how to "check his package" before you go too far.] I don't need a mandigo, but I can't deal with having to search for my microscope every time we're about to get physical either.

"It’s the motion in the ocean that matters." Motion in the ocean my ass! I've never heard one of my girls say this, it's always from a man who is aware of his shortcomings and is looking for a way to compensate. If a man ever says this to you before you have had sex, RUN, its almost certain he's got a Little Willy.

Note: This is an edited repost from last year. I will have a follow up to this post Thursday.

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