Deep deep beneath the tough exterior, lays a young woman who wants her heart to skip when she see’s her man calling, to sometimes just chill at home and talk about nothing with him, to wake him up in the morning to a homemade breakfast which would include morning a treat. Unfortunately, I have wasted mornings like those on men who didn’t deserve it.
There was a time not too long ago, before the blogging and the Cereal dating, that I, yes I Silent Scorpion was just your typical dater. I would meet a guy and if I thought he was sweet enough, I’d cut off every other guy I was seeing. It was my normal routine to date only one guy at a time. Even if I wasn’t in a “relationship,” if I felt like that was the path I was on, I didn’t see the point in giving my number out to multiple men. One man was more than enough to occupy my already limited time. Fast-forward to today and that Silent is no more.
Early in 2008, after another one sided relationship, I realized what I was doing wrong and decided to do the exact opposite of what I was doing before. I've decided to share them with you so that you can get a better understanding of why I will not be changing anything for this New Year.
Assess my own flaws. It’s so easy to constantly point out what the other person is doing wrong and why it didn’t work. I make it a point to turn that finger on myself when necessary. I’m sure there were things I did that annoyed him and made him leave me waiting outside a movie theater.
Get out of my comfort zone and meet people. I had a bad habit of not going out and mingling. Or, I’d go out with the sole purpose of not meeting anyone. I’d bitch and complain about being single, and sit at home in my bed immediately following work. Currently I am somewhat of a social butterfly with shy tendencies. I also wouldn’t date outside my set list of requirements. From height to educational attainment, I have learned to be flexible.
Date more than one person at a time. I may have taken this one to the extreme at the end of 2009, but it has allowed me meet a lot of great people and relieved some of the pressure of focusing all my attention on one person.
Stop trying to change men. I kept trying to make apple pie out of rotten apples. I used to make excuses for the inexcusable and inconsiderate actions of men. Now I can see a Rockweiler for what he truly is even if he starts off acting like a Pomeranian.
Have fun! Dating can be such a pain (first fight) but it can also be quite exciting (first kiss). Whatever happens along the way, I learned to enjoy the ride without expectations of much more. Without constantly stressing over why things weren't working out the way I imagined and I'm happier because of it.
Currently I am seeing a few men; each one serving their purpose. As always I remain open to the possibility of finding just one great guy, but that needle is deep in the haystack and I'm done searching. If it knicks my toe one day then great I'm ready. As an avid reader, it may be hard to believe, but I would love to have just one man to call my own. But, I will not settle for any man who doesn’t cause my heart to skip a beat when he calls. Until then, in 2010, I will continue to follow the outlined guidelines above and remain Silent Scorpion, the Serial Dater.
Ps. I still haven't decided who I am spending New Years with. Lucky for me one is out of the country so I only have to deal with two.
Happy New Years!