Monday, December 29, 2014

0 to 100 Real Quick

I can't sleep so I'm up thinking about my favorite topic; my dating. I had a good laugh thinking about men and how crazy they are. Fun but bat shit crazy. Just last week I ran into a guy I use to date and things (for him) went from 0 to 100 real quick. He wanted to rekindle what we had and I wanted to continue dancing my night away, alone. After we had a conversation about the ending of our little ship, he thought it was a good idea to call me the days following. Of course he was the kind of guy to pick up the phone and call, he's crazy remember.

A little background on this gentleman, I met him at an art event at the beginning of last year. We went out a few times, literally 3 times before he stopped calling. It was very clear to me that he stopped calling because I turned down his invitation for a home cooked meal.  I just wasn't ready to participate in a sleepover in the middle of a snow storm with some man I barely knew. I'm sure he wasn't use to hearing no from a woman and it was on to the next. Bye Felicia.

As he was hitting me up throughout the weekend, I was enjoying myself and being short through text. I didn't actually call him back but I would reply to text. He called me out on my evasiveness and I let him know we had some things to discuss before moving forward. After setting a time to discuss the issue I had, he was unreachable. I knew I wasn't really interested when I was relieved he didn't answer.

The events that followed showed me something I've been seeing repeatedly over the last several years, women aren't the only one's who create relationships in their head. It was clear that this man had planned out our entire relationship while failing to actually get to know who I was. Once he realized that I was not interested in anything further (he didn't realize this until after I explained it to him in three different ways) he became a complete asshole.

Here are a few highlights before and after reality set in for him:

"Morning beautiful, can't wait to wake up and roll over next to you and say that." I had kissed this man one time on our third date. He hadn't even gotten to first base and here he was talking about waking up after hitting a home run.  I didn't even respond to this part of his texting.

"You know the reason why you're hesitant to fall head over heels for me." We literally went out on 3 dates two years ago and had no communication since so yes I know the reason stranger.

"I felt like you knew I was slowing myself down so I wouldn't scare you away." Nope sir, I had no clue because you were actually too aggressive to begin with.

"I vowed to never be anybody but myself." Vowed? You vowed?!?!?

"I have no time for superficial games with women who cry wolf but don't get that wolf is a kids game!" Yeah he included the exclamation point for emphasis but I wish he would have included a guide to help me interpret his thought process. Cry wolf? Because I said I wasn't interested.

"#dropthemicimgone" Yes. He really used a hashtag in a textersation. What kind of world are we living in?

He was blocked immediately following his last message.

So glad I dodged that bullet! (Exclamation included for emphasis)

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