Tuesday, July 16, 2013

No Sex And The City, Part 1

While I have enjoyed writing about everything else going on in my life aside from dating, I feel like I haven't been completely honest. I am not defined by who I date, but I do feel writing about it is pretty therapeutic. In order to make up for lost time, I'm doing a two part post about my dating experience in The City. This is part 1.

When I started this blog several years ago, I proudly titled myself 'The Serial Dater.' This blog was also the launch pad for my group blog 'I Hate The Way You Eat Cereal,' which only lasted for a few short-lived seasons. I had so much material at the time. Even Kanye West would have to agree, I had one of the best serial dating blogs of all time. I'd meet a guy and date the heck out of him before moving on to the next. There weren't really breaks in between. I remember a time when I had four dates, with four different men in the same week. Each guy wanted to take me out and do their best to impress. What can I say, I was a hot commodity.

Over the last couple of years however, 'The Serial Dater' has slowly been dying. The demise of my alter ego has not gone unnoticed by friends and followers. I do not apologize for not adhering to the hefty title I bestowed upon myself many years ago. Things change. People change. Life changes people. I do however apologize for consciously holding back some of my thoughts for fear that I would be turning over power. You want some truth, there it is.

My routine of singing Beyonce's, Irreplaceable  and shouting 'to the left, to the left' after I break things off doesn't quite fit where I am in my life.  "I can have another you in a minute, matter fact he'll be here in a minute." And it was true. I could have another him and him and him in a minute. And he honestly was on his way, he'll be here in a minute. But that was true over three years ago. These days, not so much.

Adele's album 21 however was the soundtrack for several months over the past couple of years. I had the album on constant repeat. You pick a song and I have sang it at the top of my lungs. Either mentally on a train or externally in the shower. (Damn you New York for taking my ability to sing in my car while people look at me confused and impressed at the same time away.) Adele wrote 21 just for me, I know it. I can't even select one song that captures how I felt because most of the album conveys the exact reason 'the Serial Dater' has died. I don't date*. The issues I'm facing when it comes to dating is multifaceted.

First, dating in New York is nothing like Sex And The City. In Sex And The City, Carrie always had a love interest. Even if that love interest changed from season to season. Or even episode to episode, the one constant commonality is that she was dating. (We're going to use Carrie as the example because she was the best character on the show if we're being honest.)  In my reality, I haven't dated a guy since last year. Gasps! What?!! I know I know. It's crazy right.  There's another layer here that I have to save for another time. It's coming though.

Second, dating in New York is everything like Sex And The City. Carrie met Mr. Big. Carrie fell for Mr. Big. Carrie broke things off with Mr. Big for what seemed like a completely valid reason at the time. Carrie still harbored feelings for Mr. Big...


*date - Go out with the same guy more than a few times.

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