First Day Jitters

Today was the first day of the new semester for my Master's program. I was both excited and scared to begin my second semester. Unlike how most of my classmates feel, the winter break was long enough for me. I didn't have the desire to spend one more day in my apartment being unproductive. Granted, I was working on my resume and cover letter because you know I need a job right. (If you know anyone hiring, let me know!!!!) But other than that, I spent too much time thinking about things that I can't change. And since pondering on life's little mysteries won't help me get ahead in my program, I was happy to return to my passion.

During my train ride to campus this morning, I felt like a seasoned vet, just pass me the 2nd quarter ending shot and swoooosh!! Sorry, that wasn't the best basketball analogy but you get the point. I had been through one semester of graduate school so I felt prepared to close out my first year strong.

One of the main things I learned was NOT to buy all my books before the semester began. Instead I make sure to do the following before heading to Amazon:

1. Sit in at least one class to decide whether or not I was even going to stay enrolled. Last year I bought all my books before school started but ended up switching one of my classes before the second week. I was stuck with books totaling $100 to return.

2. Read over the syllabus to see how much the "required" book in question is going to actually be used. Last semester I spent almost $500 on books I didn't even really use. Imagine how much I fumed by the end of the semester. I WAS HOT!!! I'm happy to report I spent a little over $200 this year. *pats self on the back*

I also learned that I don't necessarily need to do ALL of the readings for each class. It took several weeks last semester last year for me to figure this out. Of course at ** thousand dollars a year, I want to get as much out of my program as possible but there is no way I'm going to spend all of my free time reading material that doesn't pertain to a paper I'm working on or a subject I'm interested in.

Welp, one week down, fourteen to go. I'm praying that I don't repeat mistakes made last semester. So far, so good.

A Promise to Myself

Sometimes I writing things down in order to hold myself accountable. Next week is the beginning of my second semester in grad school. (PHEW!!!!) This is a chance for me to make changes and learn from mistakes made last year. Especially in regards to lessons I learned long ago that unfortunately, I ignored during my first semester. The grades I received during this grading period were decent. Actually, they were better than decent. I haven't had a G.P.A. this high since high school to be honest. But truth be told, I could have done better. I can always do better and I plan on doing better.

Its funny how we all learn from a very young age that there is a lesson to learn in every situation. If we are smart, we do our best not to make those same mistakes again. Especially in such short succession. Well, as humans, we aren't perfect. Shit I'm nowhere near perfect but I'm always willing to learn. I plan on using the rest of this winter break to detail everything I did wrong last semester in an effort to not make some of my same poor decisions again.

Only time will tell if I stick to these declarations. I believe that I will. I'll be praying on it for the next several months.

I make this promise to myself every year: This year will be better than the last.

Why He's My Everything

Recently I had a close friend comment on the amount of time I spend talking about him, sharing pictures of him and letting him control the majority of conversation at times. But for me its simple math, he is the most important addition to my family in years.

Since my mothers untimely passing, I feel like those around me who matter most have passed in large numbers. I've been to so many funerals in the past several years I've started to unconsciously loose count. Looking at the lifeless body of someone you've cared for your entire life hurts more than anything I've ever experienced. I don't wish the amount of tears shed over death on my worst enemy. These deaths have caused rifts throughout the rest of my remaining living family and has caused my sisters sand I to grow even closer.

We were the three musketeers.

Last year, I experienced something I'll never forget: the birth of someone related to me by blood. As much as I consider some of my friends family, knowing the this being had the same blood pumping through his vein created a love I can't fully express.

When my sister told me she was pregnant, I was overcome with excitement and overall shock. My sister had been with her guy for over a decade without ever mentioning having children. Once she told me she was pregnant, I could tell our family would be changed forever. This was not only her pregnancy, my sisters and I were all in this together. Throughout her pregnancy we discussed what we would name him, how we would dress him and love him unconditionally.

Unfortunately, right before he was born, I boarded a plane to NY. I made sure to visit my nephew shortly after his birth and had the pleasure of being with him again during my Christmas vacation.

Even though I'm not there with him everyday, my nephew is my world. I will continue to let him control the majority of my thoughts. Along with my sisters, he is my inspiration for all that I will accomplish during my stint in NY. I have no idea where I'll end up, but I will continue to pull from them for encouragement.

I hope you understand, my family is small, so this addition in my life in the form of a 4 month old baby is huge. So sorry friends, I will continue to talk about my munchkin poo.

He is my little love.

My blood.

My everything.