Friday, March 25, 2011

Mind of a Woman: Encounters of the Cute Man Kind

I was reading @WisdomIsMisery’s blog today (it’s a post from Tuesday so please give me a latepass) and I was inspired to actually put a few words in a post. It’s been a while so I’m a bit rusty. His post takes you into the mind of a man (who I happen to think he’s uber cute). He lets us know what he is thinking while approaching a woman. Allow me to give a shy woman’s version of the same interaction. I have two types of thoughts in my head at anytime and one is far more pessimistic than the other.

Picture the same scene, you're in a grocery store and notice a cute guy. When it comes to cute guys, most likely I saw you before you saw me.

Shy Thought #1: Is he single? Where’s his girl? Can he cook? Damn he cute. I should go holla. But I’ll just keep staring at these vegetables.

Shy Thought #2: No, go talk to him. Break the ice.

ST #1: Nope. Imma stand right here frozen until he disappears and I can go get that spinach I actually came for.

ST# 2: Come on girl. Be different for once. Why do men ALWAYS have to approach you first?

ST #1: Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be besides that’s not my style. It’s been working for this long, why change now. Plus, men hate being approached anyway.

Him: Hi.

Me: Hi.

*Awkward moment*

ST #2: Dang girl, say something else.

ST #1: I knew you were gonna freeze.

Him: I seen you from over there looking at veggies…you looked real confused.

Me: Yeah. Trying to decide if I should get broccoli or the mixed ones.

ST #1: Okay good. You came up with that lie pretty quickly. Good ish.

Him: Depends on what you like. Variety is the spice of life though…

Me: *laughs* So you’re suggesting I get the mixed veggies. You work here?

ST #1: Of course he doesn’t work here. It’s flirting! You mean ass.

Him: *looks at Me and looks at self* Hell nah!

ST #1: Oh okay. He gotta a little thug. Caute.

Me: I’m saying you over here recommending vegetables and whatnot.

ST #1: What did I tell you about that? Let him get his flirt on.

ST #2: If he has a sense of humor, he’ll laugh though, right.

ST #1: Please laugh! I’m not mean!

Him: Just trying to help YOU out.

Him: So…you here by yourself?

Me: Yeah.

ST #1: Wait you didn’t even let him get the full sentence out. Desperate much? I hope he doesn’t actually work here.

ST #1: *Looks him up and down* Naw he’s definitely flirting. Let him carry on.

Him: I’m saying, you got enough food to cook for a small village.

ST #1: *Looks in grocery cart* Dang I do have a lot of food. Should I mention I have a sister and I cook for the both of us.

St #2: Girl chill. He doesn’t need to hear your life story just yet.

Me: Can a sister get her cook on?

Him: You can do what you like. I’m sure your man appreciates the food.

ST #1: Okay he is flirting. *phew*

ST #2: Of course he’s flirting. Now speak. You’ve been quiet for a minute

Me: He would if I had one. Is that your way of asking me if I have a boyfriend?

Him: Only if the answer to the question is no. If it’s yes, let’s just finish the conversation and I’ll let you go on about your business.

Me: *laughs* Oh. Ok. Well I don’t have one.

ST #1: I hope he didn’t see me accidentally spit a little in excitement.

ST #2: Alright cool come on. Ask me for my number!

Him: CHEA!…urr…

Me: What?

ST #1: This ninja is hella juiced.

ST #2: Glad I’m not the only one.

Him: Nothing…so…I’m not trying to keep you or anything but I think you’re cute and if it’s cool with, I’d like to give you a call later. Just to ask you how my executive decision about your veggies came out.

Me: *laughs*

ST #2: That’s not a yes. Say Yes! Speak!

Me: That’s cool. Here.

Him: Aight. Well, I’m usually in school most of the day, but I’ll give you a call either tom or the day after.

Me: Look forward to hearing from you.

ST #1: You didn’t need to say all that

Him: Looking forward to calling. Peace.

ST #2: Dang I wouldn’t mind ripping off all his clothes right now. *imagines him in his birthday suit and smiles*

Me: Later =)

ST #2: Okay that wasn’t that bad. I hope he actually calls.

ST #1: You doubted yourself for nothing. He’s going to call.

Fellas, these are pretty girl problems. No matter the woman, we get nervous too!! I am always nervous when I’m in the vicinity of a guy I think is remotely cute. And when he speaks to me, my brain freezes and I say and do dumb things. Usually, guys are so nervous themselves, they give me a chance anyway, and for that I say thank you. So the next time a girl goes out of her way to avoid eye contact, it doesn’t mean she thinks you aren’t cute, it means you might be freaking her out. [Notice I said sometimes, other times, yall are bug a boos. I can’t really give you clear signs to look for in this already long post.]

One thing is for sure, I know that men like when a girl smiles. It goes a long way. But if I’m multi tasking, my attempt at a smile usually turns into me tripping over something. I’m pretty clumsy when my nerves get to me.

If you make ME fumble, you’re IN! I’m still working on that smile.


Leonce said...

So THAT'S what's going on behind the curtain? I can dig it. :) I really enjoyed the original, and getting the other side of the game was just as good. Well done, and thanks for the peek. --@blaqpoet504

The Cocoa Luv Chronicles said...

OMG, did you take this from my brain. I say the dumbest things and stammer and it's just not a good look.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha.. I luv this post. Didnt read the original yet, will after. But this was great nonetheless. Men think of the craziest shit too, some are overly arrognant and some are intimidated.

Me, im some where in the middle. Definitely confident in myself, but at the same time im just me... silly, corny, cool, and chill. If she's extra fine, then i might be hestitant to actually make the next step, but holding a conversation is nothing... Depends on how she receives it.


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