Monday, February 14, 2011

Guest Post: Some Monday Funny

This post has nothing to do with Valentine's Day, its just funny. If you know this girl like I do, you will laugh even harder imagining her facial expressions and such.
Submitted by Selisha (I can't remember what she called herself in past posts so I came up with this name)

I never go to the library looking good. Never. There is no one to impress here, and I have a man, therefore I show up looking “effortless”. Please, we need to be clear about the definition of effortless. I am not talking about this natural beauty, with fresh makeup and a coordinated outfit straight from an American Eagle commercial. We are talking sweatshirt, hair barely combed, tattered jeans and flip-flops. I come to get work done and that is it. I have followed this model for almost two and a half years now, so I am used to being looked over by immature undergraduate students and student athletes. Another interesting fact about me: I never get hit on by men. Well, let’s not say never, but rarely. Maybe it happens and I am unaware of it, but I will say this much: a man has not overtly hit on me for some time now. Thus, when situations, like the one I experienced today, happen, I am completely caught off guard.

After spending four hours in the library working on my dissertation, I decided that it was time to take a break for some coffee so that I could work for another four hours. I descend the library and make my way to the lobby. Using one of the computers is an African American gentleman. I could not give you his physical description because I wasn’t paying attention. I don’t need to. He wasn’t my boo or Idris Elba, so who cares? I continue to make my way outside towards [school] Grounds, and then I hear:

Man: Why are you walking so fast?

Me (turning around in shock, but still walking): Because I’m thirsty and I want some coffee.

Man: You have beautiful hair.

Me (squinting my eyes at him): I purchased it.

Man: What is your name?

Me (still not understanding what is going on): [Selisha](I know, dumb mistake!)

Man: [Jerry]
Me (still walking): Great.

Man: Where is your boyfriend at?

Me: WHAT?!

Man: Where is your boyfriend at?

Me: At home.

Man: Oh, so you got one?

Me: Yeah.

Man: So you love him? Are you faithful?

Me (shocked and face twisted into disgust): YES!! YES!! [Honestly, the only thing that was going through my mind at this point was how much I wished my boo was somewhere close by and how much I actually DID LOVE him and how I would ALWAYS be faithful to him.]

Man (accepting defeat and turning around): Ok.

There are two points to this story: (1) Men, please come up with better lines if you plan on approaching a woman and (2) this would have never happened if I had a piece of jewelry on my left ring finger.

The names of this story have been changed to protect the writer

1 comment:

Tunde said...

see when i approach women i never ask if they have a boyfriend/husband. if they do then i let them tell me that. second, i don't understand what type of line that was anyway. "you have beautiful hair" get all the outta here.

also i don't know if this story is verbatim but if a woman asked me "where my girlfriend was at?" i would have said right behind that preposition.