But What If You Fly?

"What if I fail? Oh darling, but what if you fly? -- Erin Henson

I didn't think anything when he asked me to go away with him.
I didn't think anything when he brought me a gift.
I didn't think anything when he introduced me to his friends.

Truth is, I don't trust my own feelings.
I don't trust my own emotions.
They haven't pushed me in the right direction in the past so I quiet them.
I've pushed them so far into the dark, I don't know when they should be in the light.

I separate actions from words.
Actions do mean something, when I let them.
But until words precede or follow actions, then they are just that.

Nothing tops hearing I like/love you.
Nothing tops hearing I want to be with you.
Actions are nice and I enjoy them.
But until words precede or follow actions, then they are just that.

So now I've found myself at a bit crossroad. Some very faint feelings have emerged for a man who's company I enjoy.  I could say something and get rejected. I could say something and the feelings could be mutual. Or I could say nothing and walk away. At this point, I'm not that deep in. It's not that deep. Besides, he's not my type, anyway. And he's said nothing to show me he expects more than what's currently being presented. Plus, I am not sure he's worth the discussion.

You can probably tell by now which way I'm leaning. Much to the chagrin of my friends, I will likely remove myself from this situation.

Why?

Because, what if I fly?