Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Break-Up List

Rachel: Girl, I don't know why I stopped talking to Jerome.

Nicole: You don't remember how he made you hold his piece**?

Rachel: He needed that for protection. I blame society not him.

Nicole: How about how when he was driving your car, got shot at in it, left your car in the street with the key in the ignition because he didn't want to get caught by the police? Oh and lets not forget your uncle had to pick it up from the impound.

Rachel: Girl that wasn't really his fault. That could happen to anyone. I got my car back didn't I?

Nicole: What about the fact that he has no where to live and if yall get back together, he'll ask to move back in?

Rachel: Oh yeah, he used to eat up all my fruit snacks, I don't know what I was thinking.

*The names of these stories have been changed to protect the identity of those parties involved. These are true events!

**A Gun, knife, or other weapon.

You ever end a relationship and after a while wonder why? When I first end a relationship, I constantly remind myself why I walked away. But after some time has passed, those negative memories begin to fade and all of the great things my old partner used to do rise to the surface like oil in water. As more time passes, I sometimes question why it is exactly things didn't work out. For this reason, dating me includes a revolving door. For the most part, every guy from my past has reentered it several weeks, days or even years later because from what I remember, the break-up wasn't that bad. I can't let this happen again, especially not with Jerse.

Since I'm all about being prepared for the future, I came up with what I have dubbed 'The Break-Up List.' What I did was take out a sheet of paper (a laptop won't show the emotion like a pen stroke) and wrote down all the reasons I originally decided to end things with him. I included examples just in case my future self thought I was exaggerating the circumstances. When I had the urge to reach out to him, I picked up my list and smacked myself. After reading #4 on my list, I recalled a time he disappeared for a few days. No call. No text. Nothing. Oh how quickly we forget.

Its only been a week but its working so far. I haven't said one peep to him. As a matter of fact, I just thought of something else to add to that list. Smdh.

How do you make sure not to repeat the same mistakes? Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? How do you keep yourself from contacting an old flame?

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