My first name aint baby, It's Beyonce, Mrs. Carter if you Nasty

Good afternoon my good people,

In the wake of the heavy week that is being (black) in America, I wanted to post something I find quite entertaining. I thought long and hard and  came up with one person who makes everything better (aside from my adorable nephew). This post is about Beyonce, Mrs. Carter if you nasty. Today I've been on a twitter rampage posting fun lyrics from the KingB herself in order to entertain myself and time-line. Also, followers probably need to get ready for weekend. I, on the other hand, have a race to get ready for. In both cases Beyonce is my go to.

Has anyone else ever listened to the lyrics of a Beyonce song*. The difference between Beyonce and Rihanna is in the delivery of their raunchiness. Both are a bit vulgar but one is more delicate in delivery while the other is just a plain old foul mouthed Rihanna. Whoops okay I gave it away.

Here are my top 10 SexyKingB lyrics:

1. "I'll be swirlin' on my babe. Swirlin, swirling on my babe. I'm gonna put my body on your body. Promise not to tell nobody 'Cause it's about to go down!" – Beyonce, Dance For You
2.  "Ladies, if you love your man show him you the flyest. Grind up on it, girl, show him how you ride it." Beyonce, Dance For You
3. “I'm a grown woman. So I know how to ride it. And I'm so erotic I'm a grown woman. Look down, got you so excited I'm a grown woman.” Beyonce, Grown Woman
4. “It's too big, it's too wide It's too strong, it won't fit It's too much, it's too tough I talk like this 'cause I can back it up.” – Beyonce, Ego
5. "Keep it right there, Oh, wait, wait, yeah. Keep it right there. You driving me crazy .–Destiny’s Child, T-Shirt
6. "Hey Baby I Wish You Could See What I Have On Right Now. You So Sexy. Imagine How Intense It Would Be. To Hold Me Right Now.” – Destiny’s Child, T-Shirt
7. “I'm feelin' seeeeeeexy. I wanna hear you say my name boy. If you can reach me. You can feel my burning flame.” – Beyonce, Naughty Girl
8. "A woman in the street and a freak in the you know what. Sit back, sit back, it's the pre-game show. Daddy you know what's up!" – Beyonce, Dance For You
9. "Temptation's is callin' I be wantin' you so bad I could cry." – Destiny’s Child, Temptation
10. “Go girl (go girl). She got that bomb (that bomb), That girl can get whatever she wants. Go girl (hey girl), She got that tight (that tight). Them boys, They do whatever she like. – Beyonce, Grown Woman

Honorable mention: 11. When you put it on it's an invitation, when they play your the song get on up and shake it, Work it out on your man you don't have to waste it, Spin it all around then take it to the ground." Beyonce, Freakum Dress

Beyonce song - I'm including all Destiny Child's songs as well since she get's credit for those as well....I care not if she did or did not actually write them

Sidenote: I am Unapologetic[ally]" a fan "4" both Mrs. Carter and the Good Girl Gone Bad. See what I did there.

Happy Friday

No Sex And The City, Part 1

While I have enjoyed writing about everything else going on in my life aside from dating, I feel like I haven't been completely honest. I am not defined by who I date, but I do feel writing about it is pretty therapeutic. In order to make up for lost time, I'm doing a two part post about my dating experience in The City. This is part 1.

When I started this blog several years ago, I proudly titled myself 'The Serial Dater.' This blog was also the launch pad for my group blog 'I Hate The Way You Eat Cereal,' which only lasted for a few short-lived seasons. I had so much material at the time. Even Kanye West would have to agree, I had one of the best serial dating blogs of all time. I'd meet a guy and date the heck out of him before moving on to the next. There weren't really breaks in between. I remember a time when I had four dates, with four different men in the same week. Each guy wanted to take me out and do their best to impress. What can I say, I was a hot commodity.

Over the last couple of years however, 'The Serial Dater' has slowly been dying. The demise of my alter ego has not gone unnoticed by friends and followers. I do not apologize for not adhering to the hefty title I bestowed upon myself many years ago. Things change. People change. Life changes people. I do however apologize for consciously holding back some of my thoughts for fear that I would be turning over power. You want some truth, there it is.

My routine of singing Beyonce's, Irreplaceable  and shouting 'to the left, to the left' after I break things off doesn't quite fit where I am in my life.  "I can have another you in a minute, matter fact he'll be here in a minute." And it was true. I could have another him and him and him in a minute. And he honestly was on his way, he'll be here in a minute. But that was true over three years ago. These days, not so much.

Adele's album 21 however was the soundtrack for several months over the past couple of years. I had the album on constant repeat. You pick a song and I have sang it at the top of my lungs. Either mentally on a train or externally in the shower. (Damn you New York for taking my ability to sing in my car while people look at me confused and impressed at the same time away.) Adele wrote 21 just for me, I know it. I can't even select one song that captures how I felt because most of the album conveys the exact reason 'the Serial Dater' has died. I don't date*. The issues I'm facing when it comes to dating is multifaceted.

First, dating in New York is nothing like Sex And The City. In Sex And The City, Carrie always had a love interest. Even if that love interest changed from season to season. Or even episode to episode, the one constant commonality is that she was dating. (We're going to use Carrie as the example because she was the best character on the show if we're being honest.)  In my reality, I haven't dated a guy since last year. Gasps! What?!! I know I know. It's crazy right.  There's another layer here that I have to save for another time. It's coming though.

Second, dating in New York is everything like Sex And The City. Carrie met Mr. Big. Carrie fell for Mr. Big. Carrie broke things off with Mr. Big for what seemed like a completely valid reason at the time. Carrie still harbored feelings for Mr. Big...


*date - Go out with the same guy more than a few times.

Saartjie (Sarah) Baartman and Steatopygia are real

Just check Wikipedia if you don't know what I'm talking about. It's Friday so I won't write a complete post (again) but this is what I'm reading up on today. I can't wait to explain all of this to my kids.

No sarcasm.

Each one teach one.

Have a good weekend!

Serve Whom?

I miss the Cosby show so much and this episode right here is so relevant, two decades after its original showing. I could write more, maybe I will later. Until then, view the clip.

How Do You Stay In Shape

Friend: Wow, Silent you have an amazing shape. How do you keep your figure?

Me: Well, you know I run either in the mornings or after work and I watch what I eat most of the time so you know, there's that.

Friend: *scrunches face* I could never do that.

Me: Okay (*thinks to self* You seem to enjoy being out of shape anyway so keep munching on fast food and drinking those high caloric drinks if you choose.)


---------------------

During these types of conversations, which spike during the warmer seasons, I sometimes end the conversation with okay and change the subject. I'm not sure why people think there is a secret to staying in shape. No I don't take Herbalife, partake in body wraps or any of those other fad weight controlling products. Trust me if there was a secret to being fit, I'd share it.

My physique is a combination of genetics (being 6 foot means if I gain 5 lbs, I'm probably the only person to notice.) and hard work. I'm a long distance runner. Well actually I fall somewhere along the spectrum of runner and jogger depending on the day and how the wind is blowing. Lately, it doesn't matter how I feel because November is rapidly approaching and I need to be able to run 26.2 miles without taking a 12 hour break. So I force myself to run, even when I don't actually feel like running.

In conjunction with running like crazy, I go to the gym and lift weights sporadically through out the week. Sometimes I do a few crunches (read: between 50-200 ) before going to sleep at night.

So you know, I go to work.

I end conversations like the one above with an 'okay' when a person says they don't have time to work out the way I do. If you're okay with your shape and the ways your clothes fit, so be it. You like it, I love it. Other times, when I'm not completely ignoring people's inconsistent actions vs words in regards to their fitness, I give tips and encourage others to change their habits. As mentioned previously, I lost my mother to heart disease at a young age which means this is not a topic I take lightly if you're in my life. When I do speak up, it comes from a genuine place of concern and love. You can almost tell how much I care about you by the interest and input I put into a discussion about health and fitness. When I care, I care a lot. I can be a bit much. I'm sure it can be overwhelming and possibly annoying.  

The moral of the story is: Don't ask me questions you don't want to know the answer to.

The other moral of the story is..it's Friday and therefore I am not going to proof read or edit this post.

The other other moral of the story is...before you complain about your health or weight, take a good look about the food you're using to fuel your body and how you take care of the only one you get. Yeah a good long, hard, honest look.



On a brighter note, I plan to wear crop tops, shorts and sun dresses all summer so if you see a 6 foot tall woman roaming the streets of NYC basking in the glory that is hard work, say hello. It's me.

Go Back to School They Say

Go back to school, they say. 
 
You'll have more opportunities, they say. 
The number of jobs available to you will grow immensely, the say. 
It'll pay for itself, they say. 
Expand your knowledge base and become an authority in a field you're passionate about, they say.  

They said so much when I said I had a strong desire to go back to school. I thought I did it the right way. I waited several years and did lots of research into the field I was interested in. Unfortunately, I've found out the hard way, that they didn't say everything. 

You may not find employment right after graduation, they didn't say. 
The amount of money you borrow may seem impossible to pay back, they didn't say. 
Sometimes you may find yourself unable to secure positions you're more than qualified because you're too educated, they didn't say.
You may have to dumb down your résumé to keep a roof over your head and food in your mouth, they didn't say. 
Moving home may be necessary at some point, they didn't say. 
You may question yourself at times, they didn't say.

I am sure I made the right decision by quitting my well paying job and going back to school. But honestly sometimes, I question my decision. I didn't imagine how difficult it would be to properly express to employers that I am able to excel at the positions I apply for.  Understanding that it takes more time for some opposed to others has been my most pressing issue. Finding my patience and acceptance of my path is an ongoing process. 

I will keep applying to jobs and working my network, I say. 
I won't feel defeated if I end up back in LA, I say.
Once I get my foot in the door my skills and experience will shine, I say. 
I'm going to use my degree to my advantage and affect the change I desire, I say. 
I've come this far by faith so I will trust in the lord, I say.
Watch me work, I say

Go back to school if you've done the research and are sure about what you're getting yourself into, I say.

Once It's Out There, You Can't Take It Back

I read a brief but useful article this morning over my morning cup of Joe (actually, it was water, I don't drink coffee). While most people are aware of these tips, I thought I'd share them anyway. I've definitely become a lot more conscious about what I put out into the universe, so I'd like to make you just as paranoid as I since the resurfacing of the government surveillance program raised concerns about privacy.

The article is titled,  "Balancing Privacy and Public Web Presence."

Recently evidence of a massive government surveillance program called PRISM has re-surfaced concerns about individual privacy. Here at GradHacker, we've blogged about the need for a public web presence in grad school, primarily in order to facilitate networking, sharing researching, and job searching. While these discussions have included ideas about what to share and what not to share, they've largely ignored (mea culpa!) the privacy discussion. While I don't have any tips for avoiding government surveillance, there are some privacy considerations that most of us should think about as we splash about in the social stream.

1) Be aware that if it went via the internet, it can be seen by anyone. This is especially true for Twitter and Facebook, but even applies to emails and now Google chat (no more off the record by default!).  Academics sometimes hold controversial opinions, as well. This is fine, but we are aware of how opinions can be taken out of context and perhaps save them for lengthier discussions rather than on twitter. And if you are saying something just plain mean about someone or a group of people, don't claim you are "just doing research."

2) Stay up-to-date on privacy settings on all your platforms: I like to follow the social media news so that I can stay up-to-date on the dizzying changes to privacy on my platforms, especially Facebook. Luckily, the internet has done most of the heavy lifting for me already. For example, lifehacker.com has an "An Always Up-to-Date Guide to Managing Your Facebook Privacy" which is an excellent place to start. Also check out Mashable's coverage of social media sites and their extensive "How-to" Section.

3) Always think before you post: It's easy to get sucked into Twitter fights, so it's important for me to think before I post. Basically, if I am angry, I try to walk away before posting. After all, as xckd noted, there's always someone wrong on the internet.

Read more: http://www.insidehighered.com/blogs/gradhacker/balancing-privacy-and-public-web-presence#ixzz2W0fXsMl3 
Inside Higher Ed 

You can thank me later.